Real stories, told by real people.
Welcome back to the second half of our conversation with Clarence. Hope this finds you in good spirits. In this half, Clarence shares a little bit of his high school years with us. And you'd be surprised to hear where the abuse and bullying was coming from. It was from his teachers. One teacher in particular, encouraged some of the other kids to harass Clarence, and show up at his house to beat him up. How could this be one might ask?
"No matter how bad it is in your life, no matter how much it hurts, I promise you that the pain is worth it. That you are worthy of learning how to live a better life, and overcoming those habits that are keeping you down. It takes a lot of sacrifice. It takes a lot of pain, but I promise you that it's worth it." - Clarence.
No Question about it, Clarence, you are definitely another GIANT AMONGST US.
Listen to the first part of our conversation https://rss.com/podcasts/giants-amongst-us/1184233/
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'Til next time
and very soon,
PEACE!!
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Connect with Clarence :
Reddit : https://www.reddit.com/user/0rsss/
Email : orthrees@gmail.com
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Background music by :
@bnoizemusic
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Now if you know what you're worth, now go out and get what you're worth, but you gotta
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be willing to take the hits and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be
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because of him or her or anybody.
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This is Giant's Amongst Us.
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Now, here's a little story I got to tell you.
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How's everybody feeling?
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How you doing?
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Welcome back.
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Hopefully this finds you in good spirits.
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I'd like to give a shout out to Finland, Sweden, Denmark, Nigeria, Ireland, the Philippines,
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UK and all over the US.
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I've seen a lot of hits, visits and people from those parts and places tuning in.
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So hopefully these stories, these experiences, having some way been a value to you.
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Today we're gonna pick it up right where we left off with Clarence sharing his story with
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us.
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So for anybody tuning in for the very first time, you can check out the first half of
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this conversation.
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That way you can listen and hear Clarence's story in its entirety.
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So without too much extra filler leading up to the second part of our conversation, let's
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just jump right back into it.
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Ladies and gentlemen, this is part two of Clarence and his story.
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I think a lot of the stuff that really messed me up as a child was in the middle.
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I told you I was raped.
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Geez, there's just a lot of stuff.
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So yeah, I had three teachers that were just absolutely terrible to me.
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Well, one teacher wasn't really that bad.
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I would say she's more incompetent.
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Okay, never mind.
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I think I was four teachers and one was just really incompetence.
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I asked her because I really wanted to be like an author because I was really inspired.
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I really wanted to be like a great dungeon master, like a professional dungeon master.
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But that job never existed at the time.
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And so my brother told me just to learn how to be an author.
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I came up to her and I asked her how to be an author and she didn't see any potential
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in me and she said, I'm sorry, honey, but people like you can't become an author.
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No, people like Kelly, another student in the class, you can be like a factory worker
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or a construction worker.
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And I was like, dang, another teacher, I'm pretty sure like she had antisocial personality
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disorder.
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I don't know exactly what disorder, but she was what a lot of people would call like a
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sociopath.
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She legitimately bullied the crap out of me.
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I had a lot of PTSD whenever people whispered in my ear, like I was sending the PTSD flashback
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and she would send the other students to whisper in my ear and do a lot of terrible things to
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me.
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These are teachers.
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Yeah.
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And is this like an elementary school?
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Yeah.
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My first teacher, the first teacher I talked about was like my first grade teacher.
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I'm pretty sure my third grade teacher was like the third of the fourth grade teacher.
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But I think my third grade teacher was the second one I talked about.
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My fourth grade teacher was the one that, you know, the show, the Big Bang Theory.
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Yeah.
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So I, you know, just to point this out, you know the character Sheldon Cooper.
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Let me see.
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Okay.
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Just explain which one it, because I don't know them by name, but I know if you give
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me a description or...
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So Sheldon Cooper is like the best way I can point out, he's a weird one.
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Like Leonard is more of like the straight man in comparison to Sheldon that's just off
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the wall bonkers.
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Okay.
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Got it.
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Yeah.
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I know which one you think.
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I honestly don't understand exactly what happened, but if you look at Sheldon's behavior,
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he's what you would call in the past someone with Asperger's or currently after the reclassification
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of Asperger's just becoming autism, he would be autistic.
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And so about that time, you know, I was born in 1999.
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I went into the school a year later because I was passed a cutoff day.
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So about that time is when the show came out, probably like it was either like just came
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out or a year into coming out.
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The teacher saw the show and saw my behaviors and she thought I was acting like Sheldon
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as a joke.
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But the thing was is I was legitimately expressing myself and she, so she pulled me aside and
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she said, Hey, honey, I know that you're acting like Sheldon and you think it's funny, but
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they're not laughing with you.
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They're laughing at you.
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And I was like, who the hell is Sheldon?
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I had never seen the show before.
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You didn't even know who he was at the time.
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And like I told her that and she just said, honey, you know, you don't have to lie to
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me.
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You know, I know you're acting like him.
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There's no way someone would actually act like this.
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And that show really messed me up as a kid because they saw, I just saw there was something
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wrong with me.
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Yeah.
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You know, something not normal.
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And they just assumed it was because of that show that I was just acting abnormally.
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And that situation, like you talked about earlier that you believe like in freedom of
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speech, I believe in freedom of speech and freedom of expression as well.
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I have no problem with like people making fun of me being autistic on a TV show.
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But if you do that and you don't say this person has a medical condition, like we're
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making fun of this guy with autism, you're not making fun of the condition.
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You're making the condition a joke and people aren't going to understand that people are
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dealing with this stuff.
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And that just really messed me up as a kid.
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Like that stopped me, I think, from getting an autism diagnosis.
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So now I was a kid and that would have been life changing for me.
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And that show, I think it just didn't so much damage to the autistic community that it's
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just insane to me that no one like talks about her cares or like it just feels like they
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don't care because they just laugh at.
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That is, that's insane that you would have, you know, okay, and not even to say that that's
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even cool because a teacher is like, they're there to be especially children like these
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are young children with impressionable minds.
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You can, they're still developing, forming moldy, like, you know, all of these things.
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But for say you have one, one teacher doing this, but the chances of you having year after
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year a teacher.
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Yeah, so that's like really the worst part is that when you're autistic, you know, when
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you're a kid, a lot of stuff that is just natural and like you understand, like you
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have a feeling of socially like right or wrong when you're a neurotypical person, we just
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don't have that.
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And so we go into those social situations and people can legitimately take advantage
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of us and abuse us in ways that they can't with most people because most people kind
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of have a sense of when they're being taken advantage of.
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But like a lot of the way people interact is just so completely foreign to me.
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I have a lot harder of a chance of detecting that.
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And so it's so much easier for people to try to abuse me like that.
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All of these subtle nuances and things that are just like to close the book.
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My gym teacher from seventh to eighth grade, he was probably one of the worst teachers
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I ever had.
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The guy I was morbidly obese.
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I have asthma.
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He would run me to the point where I would like legitimately feel like I was about to
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die.
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He actually, so at the end of the year, at the end of my eighth grade year, he told me
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that he like, we just by chance met up in the hallway by ourselves and he stopped me.
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And he said, you know, I'm the one who told those guys to like ask one of the high schoolers
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to come to your house and to bully you.
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Like I'm the one who gave them that idea and I knew about it and I didn't say anything.
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And I was just like, what the hell?
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Like you know, the guys, you know, he saw when they pushed me down the stairs, he didn't
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do anything.
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I'm pretty sure he tried to push me down the stairs, but I just caught the railing because
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I was already used to, you know, some people trying to push me down the stairs at that
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point.
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Wow.
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You know, he told me that I, everything I had accomplished up to this point in my life
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was just luck and that it was all going to go away in high school and that I should just
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kill myself just straight up and my own life because I was just going to be burdened on
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the people who I loved and that they didn't deserve that.
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That I was going to, if I didn't, I would just like, you know, accomplish nothing in
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my life.
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I would just live the rest of my life in my mother's basement.
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Ironically, I live in my mother's basement.
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He was right about that.
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That guy was just terrible and I realized later in my life that the reason why he did that
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was like two reasons.
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One was that I was like, I had more muscle than him.
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Like the guy, I don't mean to be rude to people who can't develop muscle, but the guy was,
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what you would call skinny fats where he just couldn't put on weights.
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He couldn't put on muscle.
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Another reason was like, you know, this beautiful seventh grader or like eighth grader, I guess
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at that point.
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He was beautiful as like a 13 year old can be.
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She liked me and he didn't like that, that like, you know, this beautiful woman was giving
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me attention.
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And so he just bullied the crap out of me.
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This is a grown adult.
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Yeah.
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Yeah, just size.
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And you're in seventh grade.
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Yeah.
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I mean, when he gave me that talk, it was at the end of my eighth grade year, but she started
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liking me at seventh grade and that's when it started.
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It just crescendoed when I was an eighth grader.
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The worst part is like years later, I reported that guy to the school.
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I don't think anything was done about it.
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You know, that's just how it is.
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Was this at the same school?
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Yeah.
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Because I know some schools are separate when you go to elementary school.
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So when you go to middle school, it's a different school, but all of these years was at the
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same school with these different teachers.
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Yeah.
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You know, I forget if it's still something that happens in America, property taxes from
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an area goes to the school.
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And so that makes it so that, you know, areas like more wealthy areas, they get more school
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funding than poorer areas.
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And that just makes it so like the teachers are underpaid, everything's just trash.
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And so only teachers that aren't really good at their job go to those schools.
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And so those children that need more support are given less support and given lower qualities
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of teachers.
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We can go on a whole different run with this one, but then how that affects the later years
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in life to where now you have these kids that they've spent how much of their time in school,
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because you're spent at that.
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And you're spending like eight hours a day in school.
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You're spending most of the time with the teachers and the school kids.
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And you are with your actual parents or family members.
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That can really do something to where the later years in life.
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Now you have these once kids who are adults, but they're mentally and emotionally immature
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and they haven't grown.
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And that is just a whole can of worms that opens up after that.
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Yeah.
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It's terrible that the most vulnerable people in our society, you know, the people who are
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poor in the poor areas, they're underserved in school because of the way our system is
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set up to benefit people that come from wealthy families.
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It's they legitimately need better schools, not worse schools.
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I honestly, I can't say that that still happens.
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I remember reading a paper like probably like a long time ago.
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I can't quote exactly when that happened.
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I remember reading a paper that that, at least in the past happened.
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I can't confirm that that still happens.
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But if it does, it's terrible.
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Yeah.
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Well, there's an author.
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He was an ex-school teacher.
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He has a real good book and it talks about the whole schooling system from where it comes
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from and in the, you know, a lot of the politics and the corruption that goes behind it, but
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he gets into real depth and he has a lot of firsthand experience.
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He was a teacher for probably over 20 years in New York City.
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And I think he actually did his resignation the day he received one of the highest certificates
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and awards for his for being the teacher that he was.
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And on the stages when he gave this huge speech and he was kind of exposing a lot of what
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he's seen throughout the years and just really letting it all out there and saying, thank
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you for the award, but I'm resigning in this for these reasons.
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And he has a book and I can't think of the name right now, but that's a whole other monster
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right there, whole other beast.
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Yeah.
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Really, I'm really grateful for teachers who are legitimately, who are good at their job.
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Like if you're a teacher out there and you do good work, I'm really grateful for you.
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Doing it for the right reasons.
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Yeah.
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We need more of them.
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We definitely need more of them.
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I mean, because sooner or later, you know, these kids are all grown up and they're like,
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it ends up being just a terrible cycle if things don't change from the root, the grass
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root and these are the kids that change.
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Yeah, legitimately.
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Like whenever you give someone like that a position over children and like a position
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of power, they just traumatized and they just spread all that hate they have to other people.
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And they just, it really being traumatized from such a young age is so terrible.
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Like if you have that frame of reference of good habits, you know, if you get traumatized
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and really just destroyed as an adult, but if you have that childhood to fall back on,
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it's so much easier than just whenever you've never learned how to do something correctly.
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And it's so terrible to actually like have to learn from the ground up how to live.
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And people, when they do that to people, when they traumatize children from a young age,
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they just emotionally stump them and stop them from really becoming themselves from
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really go through the process of personalization and reaching their, like the end of their
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psychological development.
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They're full potential.
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They just stuck in trauma.
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Yeah.
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That's right.
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And then like in your case, somebody who, if you're not getting it there and you're
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not getting it at home either, I mean, that's you, you have either, you're a child is left
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to fend for themselves in a sense.
00:14:22
And like you were getting it from, what some people may say, well, that's a odd source
00:14:27
or how can you be able to come, but I understand your, how you're able, your feelings and your
00:14:33
companionship that you have with your dog, because animals, I mean, they're very sensitive
00:14:38
and they might not be able to speak the language we speak, but they can certainly feel your
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emotion.
00:14:44
They know when you're sick, when you're down, they can, there's even a documentary my wife
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was watching.
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I didn't, I got the end of it and it's, it was on Netflix and it was called my best teacher,
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the octopus.
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And it was about a man's journey.
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He was kind of documenting his, his life that he led for a year or maybe longer than that,
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following this same octopus and just watching its growth, how it interacted with different
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not the whole personality and character of this one octopus from however old the octopus
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was up until the last days of its life.
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And just everything that he learned, the emotional bond that he had with this octopus and so
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some might say an octopus, how in the hell can you develop a relationship?
00:15:33
But it was intense and he said it was probably the most intimate relationship besides its
00:15:39
child and I don't know if he was married, but that he had with any living creature.
00:15:45
Yeah.
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Octopus, there's some, there's some animals I believe they have like sapiens.
00:15:50
I believe octopus, squids, dolphins.
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I believe some dogs might, I do know.
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I believe the average golden retriever actually has a higher IQ than the average person.
00:16:01
I think they have like 102 on average, something like that.
00:16:05
Yeah.
00:16:06
On average.
00:16:07
Yeah.
00:16:08
The average golden retriever out IQ is the average human.
00:16:11
Do you know if those are, are those considered the smartest dogs?
00:16:16
I believe commonly the smartest dogs are considered the Shiba Inu, a Chinese breed I believe.
00:16:21
No, I think the Shiba Inu might be Japanese.
00:16:23
I don't know.
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It's an Asian breed.
00:16:26
And they're considered the smartest.
00:16:28
Shiba Inu will actually teach other dogs how to behave properly.
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If you only give all of your dogs treats when they all behave correctly, the Shiba Inu will
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understand that and make the other dogs, well, he'll teach the other dog how to behave properly
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and he'll enforce positive behavior in the other dogs so he gets treats.
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So he gets the treat too.
00:16:49
Yep.
00:16:50
I know golden retrievers are smart also, what were the ones they used for rescue?
00:16:57
The rescue dogs, Saint Bernard's, I don't know about IQ level, but I do know they're
00:17:01
real good for rescue.
00:17:03
You know, so many different dogs with different personalities and especially if you already
00:17:08
have a bond where you're feeding, you're caring for it and they're going to give you
00:17:13
that love and support to the very end.
00:17:17
And like you said, this dog was in a sense able to bond with you and kind of show you
00:17:22
some things that you weren't getting it from anywhere else.
00:17:27
And that's kind of what brought you to being able to communicate, verbalize yourself and
00:17:32
actually socialize with humans.
00:17:35
Yeah.
00:17:36
Yeah, it was, he was legitimately like the stepping stone I needed.
00:17:39
He was a teacher I needed to help me learn what I need to learn, how to like start where
00:17:44
everyone else starts out in their life.
00:17:47
Like you know, to put it in video game terms, most people start out at level one, well when
00:17:51
you're autistic, you might start out like level negative eight.
00:17:56
And a lot of people might know how to help people level up from one to two, but not that
00:18:00
many people know how to go from negative eight to negative seven.
00:18:03
And yeah.
00:18:04
I really worked at it, you're still working at it and you have some goals and you have
00:18:10
a short term and long term goals that you're striving for.
00:18:14
And I'll put my bottom dollar on it there.
00:18:16
You're going to get there.
00:18:17
You really, you really got the right attitude, the right mindset.
00:18:21
And if you don't have the tools, like you said, you find a way to find those tools and
00:18:26
make them work for you and use them properly.
00:18:29
Knowledge is power.
00:18:30
And you're really taking that and running with it.
00:18:33
Yeah.
00:18:34
I mean, you know, whenever I was a kid, I didn't really have anything in my life except my
00:18:37
mind.
00:18:38
You know, a lot of other people, they have TVs, they have, you know, books.
00:18:43
I just had my mind and my, and you know, that was, you know, really bad for me, but it's
00:18:49
also, you know, some ways really good for me.
00:18:51
It's something I'm grateful for because it helped me really gain like a deep sense of
00:18:56
my values and priorities in life.
00:18:59
And a lot of my life is about finding that from a young age, having people throughout
00:19:04
my entire life just beat the absolute shit out of me until like I was just, you know,
00:19:10
in passive suicide mode and learning how to connect back with that sense of purpose and
00:19:17
learning how to once again lead a purposeful life and opening myself up to vulnerability
00:19:24
again.
00:19:25
That's the spirit of this show that was well said.
00:19:31
And I mean, I said it once, said it again, but I'm really happy that we were able to
00:19:36
connect and you were able to speak some of your piece with us here.
00:19:41
Clarence, you have, you have any, any final thoughts or words you'd like to add before
00:19:47
we wrap this thing up?
00:19:49
Oh yeah.
00:19:51
So some people, this is a little weird to describe in Germany, I don't know if they have this,
00:19:56
but in America, you know, that you don't like the alpha, sigma, beta, omega thing.
00:20:02
Yeah.
00:20:03
So some people, you know, they'll look at me and they'll be like, oh, he's a sigma male
00:20:09
and they'll either like make fun of me or like, you know, I, I don't identify as a sigma
00:20:14
male.
00:20:15
Honestly, if you identify as a sigma male, you probably have autism.
00:20:19
I don't mean to be like an asshole when I say that, but you look up the symptoms for
00:20:23
autism, look up the symptoms for being a sigma male, they're legitimately the same thing.
00:20:28
I would say an alpha male is a person that's went through the process of personalization,
00:20:32
a beta male is just a person that might have gone through the personal process of personalization
00:20:37
and just is more of a follower than a leader.
00:20:40
And what you would call an omega male is someone who's been traumatized and needs therapy
00:20:44
and a sigma male is someone who has autism.
00:20:47
The research that originally went into classifying those, you know, people into that, why I originally
00:20:53
was dogs was fundamentally flawed.
00:20:56
And you can just read about that, just read on wolves.
00:20:59
It's a pretty not good experiment.
00:21:01
They just took random wolves from random places and put them together.
00:21:05
It would kind of be like, you know, basing our understanding of psychology off of Brigg
00:21:09
brother.
00:21:10
Yeah, it's something random to end on, but I want you to understand that.
00:21:16
And I guess another thing is, no matter how bad it is in your life, no matter how much
00:21:20
it hurts, I promise you that the pain is worth it, that you are worthy of learning how to
00:21:28
live a better life overcoming those habits that are keeping you down.
00:21:33
It takes a lot of sacrifice.
00:21:34
It takes a lot of pain, but I promise you that it's worth it.
00:21:37
I understand that it's, it's hard to know that it's hard to really like accept that to
00:21:47
legitimately give life another shot when you're like that, but I promise you it's worth it.
00:21:52
And if I could give you, you know, how I felt right now, that feeling, I feel like you would
00:21:57
feel the same way.
00:21:58
It would be a lot easier for you to really start that journey.
00:22:03
And I wish I could give that to you.
00:22:05
It's, it really is life changing.
00:22:07
Honestly, even at my worst, the happiest you could have ever given me, you could have given
00:22:12
me everything in life that I could have ever wanted.
00:22:15
I don't think I would be as happy as I am, even at like my lowest moments today, if that
00:22:20
gives you any perspective on how much better it is.
00:22:23
So it absolutely does.
00:22:24
Yeah.
00:22:25
I do so much clearance for your time, for sharing your story, for your awesome attitude
00:22:33
and all the best on your endeavors and what you set out to do later on in life and what
00:22:42
you're working on right now.
00:22:43
Yeah, thank you.
00:22:45
And I hope you enjoyed listening.
00:22:48
Yes, sir.
00:22:50
My man, fighting the good fight, despite the fact of starting off at a negative eight,
00:22:58
he wasn't going to lean on that like a crutch.
00:23:02
He wasn't going to use it as an excuse.
00:23:05
If anything, that was all the more reason for him to up his game so that he could live
00:23:11
what we would call normal life.
00:23:13
Despite his handicaps or his disabilities, that wasn't going to be the determining factor
00:23:18
for him throughout the abuse as a child, bullied and harassed throughout the school
00:23:24
years by his peers and even teachers, through all the pain, the hurt, the suffering in the
00:23:30
midst of the firing squad.
00:23:33
He kept his course, though others may have counted them out or doubted him.
00:23:38
He banked on himself.
00:23:40
Clarence believed in himself and he put in the work, the effort to change his situation
00:23:45
to better himself as a human being.
00:23:48
My hats off to you.
00:23:49
You are, without a doubt, a giant amongst us.
00:23:55
And like Clarence mentioned, his line is wide open to anybody who is looking for some support
00:24:01
or they want to talk with someone that they feel is able to relate to their situation.
00:24:07
I'm sure he'd be happy to hear from you.
00:24:09
Again, Clarence, appreciate you and thank you for sharing your experience with us.
00:24:14
That's all, buddy.
00:24:15
And before this one winds down, if you would like to be a part of the show and share your
00:24:23
story or even the story of someone in your life that has impacted you in a positive way,
00:24:29
you can always reach out to me via email.
00:24:32
I'd be happy to connect until next time and very soon.
00:24:38
Peace.