Difficulty With Self Forgiveness || In Between The Stories

[00:00:03] Here, Making You A Special Report.

[00:00:35] This is Giants Amongst Us, where we share in a unique human experience and where you're going to hear real stories that are told by real people. People just like yourself. It's a new day. It's a new year. Usually there's somebody across from me. We're sharing a conversation. Right now, it's just me and you.

[00:01:01] I want to shoot the breeze, talk about a few things that I've been wrestling with up top. Some things that as I started to become of age, I was struggling with. I was trying to deal with. I was trying to cope with. And maybe you are in a similar situation. And hopefully after this, we're able to work this issue out amongst ourselves. And what I'm going to talk about today is having to do with the difficulty in forgiving self.

[00:01:31] And I'm not just going to talk about the difficulty of it, but it wouldn't be right if we don't talk about some solutions. What's something that we can do in the here and now, in real time, to help ourselves with this if we're struggling with it? Because I know I've struggled with it for a long time. We could be our own worst enemy. Forgiving others, forgiving ourselves.

[00:01:55] How many struggle with that regret and everything that comes with the fact that it's hard to let go of maybe some things that were done. A lifestyle that was lived and you're still feeling guilty about it. But before we get into all that, I'd like to welcome anybody who's listening to the show for the very first time. What we do over here is we celebrate the human spirit, the resilient human spirit.

[00:02:24] We celebrate life in its entirety. This dramatic play that we're all involved in. The comedy, the tragedy, the conflict, the loss, the agony. But not just that. This is about hope, promise, rebirth, new beginnings, redemption. It's about how one was able to turn things around. Introspection, self-inquiry, accountability. These things that lead to self-discovery.

[00:02:53] Because self-discovery isn't a destination but a journey. And so we highlight these stories and experiences from people that come from all walks of life and have had their own struggles and challenges. We highlight these stories because these are beacons of light and examples and hope to anybody right now who's dealing with whatever it is they're dealing with. And feel as if there is no hope. Why bother? I'm done with it. That things can change.

[00:03:23] That your life has meaning and value. These stories are meant to remind you of that. May they even inspire, provoke change in action. Encourage you. Move you in a better direction. But nobody can do the work for you. You've got to do it for yourself. So that's what we're about over here. We're about being responsible for self. We're about being accountable for self. And we're about creating change and new realities for ourselves.

[00:03:52] And affecting, in a positive way, the people around us. We're not talking about change the world. We're talking about changing self. Because the world is comprised of a billion selves. And another thing before we get into this. After you listen to this show. After you listen to this episode. Go back. Go to the archive. Listen to past stories. The website is giantsamongstus.org.

[00:04:20] That's giantsamongstus.org. Right there. There are blogs put up. I try to update that on a monthly basis. If not, maybe every two weeks. I'm trying to get more active with that. And there's ways where you can reach out to us. You could send to us warm words. Either words of endearment or critique. It's all good.

[00:04:47] And if you, any of you find value in what we're doing. If you appreciate the show and what we're trying to do. If you appreciate the stories that have been shared. Go to whichever platform you're listening to. What I'll do is include in the show notes three links. To where you can leave a review or a rating. On either Spotify, Apple, or the website. Good or bad. Drop a few lines. Let us know and give us some feedback on the show. How you feel about it.

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[00:06:14] But let's get into what I wanted to talk about today. And we'll talk about some ways that we can help ourselves resolve this issue. If it's something that we're dealing with. And once again, that's the difficulty that we have when it comes to forgiving ourself. The shame, guilt, disgust, embarrassment, anger.

[00:06:39] All of these things that just boil up inside of us when we miss the mark. We all fall short. All of us at one time, at one place, sometimes more often than not, mess things up. It could be something that happened years back or habits. Habits that we still have trouble doing away with.

[00:07:02] But the regret that comes with it sometimes is like a ton on your shoulders. It gets heavy. It feels ugly. That feeling we have when we haven't lived up to standards. And those standards, they could be from our own ideals or a way that we imagine ourselves to be. Or the way that we imagine our lives to be. And these standards, they can also come from somewhere else. Somebody else. Family, friends.

[00:07:32] And even the society that we're a part of. But that regret and the way that you feel inside. Sometimes when you just can't let go. When you keep holding on to mistakes and things that you did that you can't undo. It can crush your confidence. Your self-esteem gets eaten up by these parasites from the past. It's a hard pill to swallow. Believe me, I know.

[00:08:00] But good medicine isn't always the tastiest. Confucius said, To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it. We all make mistakes. That's part of being human. It comes with the skin. And anybody that's pure and without flaw, they're no longer here. They've moved on. This is a constellation of imperfection.

[00:08:30] But in order for us to find any peace of mind and to be able to enjoy the freedom that allows us to move forward with our lives, we need to come to a place where we can finally forgive ourselves and let it go. Something at 44 years old that I'm finally coming to terms with and trying to work out. But check this out. If you are feeling that shame and the guilt

[00:08:59] and the regret and anger and the embarrassment from those past mistakes, past failures, all of these decisions that only sabotaged you and the people you loved or the life you were living, consider this one thing. Don't get too down on yourselves. You can be thankful right now for that conviction inside of your soul because it means that you're not too far gone. Some, I know them and I was one,

[00:09:28] have completely removed themselves from being responsible for any wrongdoing in their lives. They're shut off. It's a numb idea. They've checked out. And because of that, ultimately, robbing themselves of any growth and maturity. But you, on the other hand, you see it a bit differently because that, that guilt, that conviction is you acknowledging your faults and taking responsibility for the role you played in the past

[00:09:58] that helped create the conditions in your life that right now you are no longer proud of. Debbie Ford said, it is by embracing all of who we are that we earn the freedom to choose what we do in this world by accepting who we are. Imperfections and all. That's when we can start to heal, start to grow and start to work towards being truly, truly

[00:10:27] free. To know oneself is the beginning of wisdom that was Aristotle. And one thing for sure, one thing you can bet your bottom dollar on, if we don't know ourselves and understand who we are as an individual, there's going to be a million people, a thousand groups, hundreds of apps that'll gladly fill in the blanks telling us who we are, what we can do,

[00:10:57] what we can't do, and how we should live our lives. And I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like a fun ride. Alright, so what are some things that we can do today, right now, in our lives, if we're having trouble forgiving ourselves, if we're having trouble letting go, if we keep holding on to the past and we can't move forward, if we keep staring at the rear view, what are some things that you can do right now? I have three of them that I want to share. One of them,

[00:11:27] the first one, is something that I came across when I was listening to an audiobook. And the name of the audiobook is The Mirror Principle, The Hidden Key to Shift Your Reality. Now, I don't know the name of the author. I just pulled it up because I took a screenshot on my phone of the Spotify audiobook podcast that I was listening to. I'll leave a link in the show notes to that audiobook because that's

[00:11:56] a real good book and it has a lot of practical tips and it's very concise and condensed into relatable and easy to digest information. So the first one that I'm going to share with you, I got from that audiobook and that is to find a mirror. Any mirror. We all have a mirror. You can go to the bathroom. You can do that in the living room. You can use your phone

[00:12:26] but find that mirror and look into your eyes. Notice all of the expressions, features, the lines in your face and notice how that makes you feel. Be mindful of that. Be present in the moment with yourself. Allow yourself that time. It could be a minute. It could be two minutes, three minutes but give yourself that time and that space

[00:12:54] and as you do that, staring at yourself in the mirror and being mindful of how you feel, how it's making you feel, your reactions to looking at your expressions, looking into your own eyes. What is that doing to you? Once that settles in, forgive yourself and remind you of your worth. Remind yourself of the potential potential and the possibilities

[00:13:23] that right now are available to you. Do that daily and see what it does for you. What have you got to lose? It might sound funny, might sound corny, you might even feel awkward doing this but how often are we sitting across from someone we don't know, a stranger, someone we barely know or even people in our lives that we do know but we big up them, we compliment them, we encourage them, we tell them about

[00:13:53] all the things that they did to help us out and things that we appreciate about them but when it comes to ourselves sometimes there's a lot unsaid and then at times we're hoping for love, we're in need of love but we're not even able to love ourselves. So this right here, this might bring some feelings, some emotions that you haven't felt in a while and I think it's a real good place to put you

[00:14:22] in that quiet spot alone with just you staring at your reflection, going through the emotions, feeling the emotions and telling yourself that you forgive you for doing what you did, for being who you were and then remind yourself of the opportunities and the potentials and the possibilities that await you right now and be thankful for that. So that's one thing you can do.

[00:14:52] Another thing is if this regret, this guilt, this shame that you're having a hard time letting go of is eating at you and it's weighing on you, one thing that you can do is apologize to anybody that you have wronged. You know who it might be, you know what it was about. If it's still something that's weighing on your conscience and if you're able to, get in touch with them. It can be in person,

[00:15:22] by phone, an email or a text message, whichever way you think is best. And when you get in touch with them, apologize to them for what you've done, how you behaved, anything that you want to say, you say it and you let them know that you're sorry for it and that you're no longer that person. You're sorry for harming them, for wronging them. You're sorry

[00:15:50] for disrespecting the relationship. When it's genuine, when it's authentic, when it's coming from a real place, that right there can help make amends and even rebuild the relationship. And then this last thing that you can do, is to remember that we're all human. We all make mistakes. No one is without sin

[00:16:19] and you're no different. Remember that your inner talk, it matters. What was done, it's done. You can't redo it. There's no going back. It's in the past. Let it stay there. acknowledge the wrong. I'm not saying forget it or ignore it, but acknowledge that wrong, but you don't have to identify with it no more because you're not that person anymore.

[00:16:49] Mentally, spiritually, emotionally, even physically. Feed yourself all of what you wish and inspire to be. Now you're looking forward. Now you're moving on. This can help change your attitude, your beliefs, your confidence, and in turn influence new behaviors, new actions, new experiences. So those are the three practical tips

[00:17:19] that I wanted to share with you if this is something that you're struggling with. I hope it finds a place and a home for anybody that needed to hear this right now. You guys, there's going to be some more conversations. I do have a few interviews that are lined up. They're in the pipeline and once those are ready, once they're available, I look forward to sharing them with you all. Be sure to check out the website. There's blogs put up there. There's even ways for you to access

[00:17:48] first dibs on the interviews once they're finalized and before they get published. You guys can find us on Spotify, finally available on Apple. Google, we're on YouTube, Reddit, so you can find us there. All of these different platforms where you can listen to us and also if you feel like doing, add to the conversation. So everybody be safe out there, be sane.

[00:18:18] Before I wrap it up, I want to remind you if you would like to be a part of the show and share your story or even a story of someone in your life that has impacted you in a positive way, you can always reach out to us via email. We'd be happy to connect. Until next time and very soon, peace.

[00:18:44] love you. I'm looking for a sign to know I'm on the right road and seen no signs since just