Real stories, told by real people.
Ready, Set, and here we GO!! Today we're joined by Erin, and she's got a story to share. Struggling with at a very young age both undiagnosed, Autism and ADHD, to depression and anxiety - "If you had told me as an anxious kid that one day I would have my own business and stand on a stage and tell stories in front of hundreds of people I would have thought you were lying." She's definitely come a long ways. And Erin takes us on that journey. The feeling of being different, not like the rest of the kids, and "weird" was something she later in life embraced. And also, later in life, the huge realization for her of having ADHD and being queer.
But, it doesn't stop there. Erin talks about when and how she found her voice through storytelling and it's impact on her life. She's now coaching people and helping them find their "authentic voice" so they can share it with people who need it. Which is the heart beat of this Podcast, to Shine Stories. Whether on stage or in her own space, Erin has shown to be a GIANT AMONGST US.
If any of this resonates with you and you appreciate what we're doing, be sure to leave a review, give us a rating and share your thoughts. And to help spread the word organically, share it with your friends and Neighbors.
Til next time,
and very soon,
PEACE!!
_____
FIND OUT WHAT'S ON DECK, UPCOMING STORIES, AND ANYTHING NEW WITH GIANTS AMONGST US :
https://www.buymeacoffee.com/Giantsamongstus
_____
To find out more about Erin and her services :
Website: https://www.storystarcoaching.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/erin_rodgers_storypro/
Storytelling Anthology Info: https://pathfinderscollective.org/
Purchase an Anthology: https://www.amazon.ca/Erin-Rodgers/e/B09SZP6Z8N/
Link with FREE WORKSHEETS for all listeners : https://www.storystarcoaching.com/giantsamongstus
_____
Connect With Giants Amongst Us :
Website : https://giantsamongstus.org/
Show Updates & Extras : buymeacoffee.com/Giantsamongstus
To Share Your Story : giantsamongstus@tutanota.com
YouTube : https://youtube.com/@giantsamongstus?si=LQqRyvae3UozibHy
Reddit : https://www.reddit.com/r/Giants_Amongst_Us/
_____
Background music by : @bnoizemusic
00:00:00
Now, here's a little story I got to tell.
00:00:05
It's about that time.
00:00:09
And today, Erin joins us.
00:00:12
And she's going to take us on a journey from dealing with ADHD as a child, anxiety,
00:00:19
and the debilitating depression that nearly claimed her zest for life.
00:00:24
But despite all of it, she came out the other end,
00:00:29
tried, tested, and true.
00:00:33
She's got a story to tell, and she's also someone who, after all the bullying
00:00:39
and even being looked at like an odd, weird, or strange kid,
00:00:44
is now helping, encouraging, and even coaching people so they can find their voice
00:00:50
and use it to share their story in whichever way they seem fit.
00:00:55
So without further ado, let's get into it.
00:00:58
Here's Erin and her story.
00:01:01
Welcome, Erin. Thank you so much for joining us.
00:01:05
You could have been anywhere in the world and been doing a hundred other things,
00:01:10
but you chose to sit down and spend a little time with us.
00:01:13
So I do appreciate it. Thank you.
00:01:15
I know I made the right choice. I'm very excited to be here.
00:01:19
So I know that you are from Toronto, Canada,
00:01:22
and why don't you tell us a little bit about how it was growing up for you
00:01:27
and give us a run-down about your life story as a youngin.
00:01:32
Sure. Well, I will say I grew up in the suburbs.
00:01:37
I had, you know, like I grew up in a house,
00:01:41
and I grew up with a, I would consider kind of like a TV family.
00:01:46
My parents are both teachers. I have a younger brother.
00:01:50
We had cats. We had a backyard.
00:01:52
But a lot of what I remember as a kid, including a lot of wonderful times,
00:01:58
was always feeling like I didn't belong.
00:02:01
Like there was something wrong.
00:02:03
I always felt a little bit like two beats behind everyone.
00:02:08
So there's a famous story of when I was very small
00:02:12
and all the other kids were learning how to walk.
00:02:14
I went from crawling to backwards crawling,
00:02:18
which I have now learned is apparently an autistic trait.
00:02:22
And so I realized recently, it's not an official diagnosis,
00:02:26
but I am autistic, which puts a lot of different things in perspective.
00:02:32
But I was, I was a really anxious child.
00:02:35
I remember when Christmas was coming, I made a promise to myself.
00:02:39
And when I say I made a promise to myself,
00:02:41
I looked at myself in the mirror and I was like self, this is what we're doing,
00:02:44
that I wasn't allowed to get too excited about Christmas until it was a week before.
00:02:51
Because then what if I did Christmas wrong?
00:02:54
Like what if I got too excited too early or something like that?
00:02:57
So how old were you when when you had these feelings or these thoughts?
00:03:02
Oh, like six.
00:03:04
Oh, wow.
00:03:05
I was a very small, very anxiety prone child.
00:03:09
There's a lot of different spectrums of autism as well.
00:03:12
Right. I don't know where you would range in it, but I know exactly.
00:03:15
Well, that's one of the things that's been really interesting learning about it is that autism is also kind of a confusing term because it seems like it's a whole bunch of different things that it's like, oh, autism,
00:03:27
that is the word that makes the most sense.
00:03:30
So, you know, one of the phrases I've heard is if you know one one autistic person, then you know one one autistic person.
00:03:38
Everyone's a bit different.
00:03:39
But I have so I am autistic.
00:03:43
I have ADHD.
00:03:45
I'm queer.
00:03:47
I have major anxiety and I've also a fun time.
00:03:51
That's the last thing that's the most important thing.
00:03:53
That's right.
00:03:54
But all of that made me feel and because it wasn't talked about in the same way I was born in 1980.
00:04:00
Okay, yeah, you and me both.
00:04:02
There we go.
00:04:03
Richard just become best friends.
00:04:06
That might have happened.
00:04:07
But it was it wasn't really in the popular dialogue that much.
00:04:13
Like I don't remember the first time I heard the word autistic, but it wasn't when I was a little kid and it wasn't presented as like a cool thing or a regular thing.
00:04:24
It was like basically presented as like as if someone was like that person's a ghost.
00:04:30
Like it's like spooky.
00:04:32
Yeah.
00:04:33
So it felt as so as a kid, I felt I mean, I feel like.
00:04:36
The classic story is I felt very different because everyone is different because.
00:04:42
Yeah, you're right coming coming up.
00:04:44
I don't even now that you mentioned that I can't even think back to the first time that I heard the word autism.
00:04:51
I know for sure when I was a kid in the child in school, I never heard that.
00:04:55
I don't even think it was a.
00:04:57
Yeah, labeled as an autistic child and I don't know when that when that I just and also I grew up in Canada.
00:05:05
And I love so many things about this country, but like Canadians aren't always direct.
00:05:13
Like we've got this reputation is like we're so polite and sometimes we're polite and sometimes we're like passive aggressive.
00:05:21
So I think sometimes also as someone who misses social cues and that kind of stuff.
00:05:28
There's all these things that people might have been telling me about myself, but because they weren't saying it directly, I would miss things.
00:05:36
And so there was all these parts in my life that were like a mystery to me as well.
00:05:40
Did you get a lot of bullying or did you get a lot of the other kids in school giving you a hard time because of your disability or your situation?
00:05:51
Well, here's here's the thing.
00:05:54
I feel that we were both in like, let's call it the golden age of bullying.
00:05:58
Like I feel like the 80s were, oh, what an age for bullying.
00:06:03
But I was talking to a friend of mine the other day where it's like, it's awful that there's so many other ways that kids can be terrible to each other now.
00:06:12
But I was like, I almost had a like back in my day.
00:06:14
I was like back in my day, you had to be terrible to someone's face.
00:06:17
You had to write a letter.
00:06:19
You had to do all those things to.
00:06:21
Exactly. You had to do it the old fashioned way.
00:06:25
I was like, wow, that's a weird thought.
00:06:27
But anyways, here's the thing.
00:06:30
Was I bullied? Yes. Good old days.
00:06:33
Back in the day.
00:06:34
Was I was I bullied? Yes.
00:06:36
Was I, you know, a weird kid and felt uncomfortable? Yes.
00:06:41
But when I think back to what a weird kid I was and I say that with great fondness for my younger self, it is amazing how generous kids were.
00:06:50
There were so many things they could have bullied before they did it.
00:06:54
Like, I would just I would sing.
00:06:57
I was obsessed with the Muppets.
00:06:59
I still am.
00:07:00
Like I dressed weird.
00:07:02
I would like write little plays.
00:07:05
I used to like draw cartoons of my feelings like it.
00:07:10
I was I don't know if I was too easy to bully or people were just more generous.
00:07:16
But like the amount of bullying they could have done versus the amount of bullying I received is like a wild gap at a young age.
00:07:24
You were marched into your own drum beat.
00:07:26
Yeah.
00:07:27
The thing as I look back and I say this, you know, my parents are teachers.
00:07:32
I really love and respect the teaching profession.
00:07:35
I've had teachers that changed my life.
00:07:38
I would say the bullying that hurt me the most is when a teacher teased me and then the kids got like, oh, she's fair game.
00:07:47
That's the bullying that really hurt me.
00:07:50
Wow.
00:07:51
Now, are you experienced that also that teachers teasing you?
00:07:54
Well, here's the thing when you're a really sensitive kid and you're very small, like a teacher sort of teasing you.
00:08:04
Indirectly.
00:08:05
Exactly.
00:08:06
And I had a thing this is hilarious because it is like as an adult now, I'm like, oh, little baby.
00:08:13
But as a kid, I was just like, oh my God, I was so self conscious.
00:08:17
I was the smallest kid and I was the youngest kid and I was very weird.
00:08:23
And it was like grade one.
00:08:24
So I was almost a year younger than a lot of the kids.
00:08:27
I was five.
00:08:28
They were six.
00:08:29
And here's an old fashioned sentence.
00:08:31
I was sharpening my pencil in a pencil sharpener.
00:08:35
Those I know.
00:08:37
Then I went to the ice cream shop in a Jalopy.
00:08:41
But anyways, there's a lot of stuff that back when I was young, I wish I still kept with me like garbage pale.
00:08:48
I don't know if that was big in Canada.
00:08:50
Yes.
00:08:51
Garbage pale kids.
00:08:52
I used to love collecting those.
00:08:53
The ice cream.
00:08:54
Yeah, I wasn't allowed to have them.
00:08:56
So I had a secret collection.
00:08:58
There you go.
00:08:59
The secret stats in the shoebox.
00:09:00
Exactly.
00:09:01
Exactly.
00:09:02
But I have ADHD so I would just lose them.
00:09:07
So it was definitely a secret collection.
00:09:09
It was a secret for me.
00:09:10
But it was exactly.
00:09:13
So I hope someone was like, oh, look, this, it's like the universe gave me some garbage pale kids.
00:09:18
Like that brings me a lot of joy.
00:09:20
Oh, that was very cool.
00:09:21
I never seen the movie.
00:09:22
I know they came out with the movie.
00:09:23
I don't know.
00:09:24
I know sometimes they ruin a classic.
00:09:26
I don't know if that was the case with that.
00:09:28
But yeah, I think the good news is when it's like kind of gross out stuff, you can't.
00:09:33
And it is also my like controversial, not controversial opinion is for example, the Ninja Turtles movie.
00:09:41
The first one is excellent.
00:09:43
Oh yeah.
00:09:44
With vanilla ice, right?
00:09:46
No, that's the second one.
00:09:48
That's the first one.
00:09:49
Also good.
00:09:50
I know I say the first one.
00:09:51
That was a secret of the ooze.
00:09:52
Was the second one.
00:09:53
I believe so.
00:09:54
Yes.
00:09:55
That being said, I might be getting the mix up.
00:09:57
Share in the comments if I got it wrong.
00:09:59
But I think that's the second one.
00:10:01
I do.
00:10:02
I do remember the first because we had that on video.
00:10:04
We had that on VHS video.
00:10:06
That was a classic.
00:10:07
Yeah, so good.
00:10:08
And I know it's very different than the comics, but like, I like it.
00:10:12
I think it's great.
00:10:13
I watched a couple of years ago.
00:10:14
It's really nice.
00:10:15
Yeah.
00:10:16
Has replay value.
00:10:17
Exactly.
00:10:18
And like, I love that these teen boy turtles are like looking after each other like they, one of them goes through like a very good way.
00:10:26
He goes through like a very difficult emotional time.
00:10:29
And like the other, his brothers like look out for him is a surprisingly emotional movie.
00:10:35
It is just honestly, give it a watch listeners.
00:10:39
Give it a watch.
00:10:40
A lot of 8080 references.
00:10:42
Yes.
00:10:43
Exactly.
00:10:44
Also there, the, the, the like bad guy hideout is like, I want to live there.
00:10:50
Like it's just amazing.
00:10:52
All these weird old TVs.
00:10:53
It's fantastic.
00:10:54
Yeah, I've got a map question.
00:10:58
So when I was five years old, I'm feeling uncomfortable at school.
00:11:03
I'm, I can barely reach the pencil sharpener.
00:11:06
I sharpen my pencil and then I like wiped, I don't know, some pencil shavings on my nose.
00:11:12
And so I had like some not marks on my nose and my teacher turned me around and went to all the, all the students like, look, it's Rudolph the red nose reindeer.
00:11:23
You're the butt of the joke.
00:11:26
So exactly.
00:11:27
And also I am so self conscious already.
00:11:31
And just like, it was like, oh great, I'm small and I'm weird.
00:11:37
And now everyone knows it's okay to pick on me.
00:11:40
And the thing is, is like, I know she didn't mean anything by it, but it was one of those things where like it's some of those moments will mess up a kid.
00:11:50
And when I learned more about ADHD rejection sensitivity, I believe it's dysphoria is a thing where you'll feel that kind of stuff at a different level than a lot of other people will.
00:12:03
Okay.
00:12:04
Which is too bad.
00:12:05
But also in a weird way, that was the source of me being funny because I remember being like five and being like, well, I gotta have, I'm going to have to figure out a way to get people on my side.
00:12:18
So yeah, benefits and negatives and positives to everything, I think.
00:12:23
Yeah, exactly.
00:12:24
It seems like that's a story also with a lot of a lot of comedics that I've watched.
00:12:31
They talk about that was kind of like a armor mechanism.
00:12:34
Like if I can't beat them physically, then I'm going to, I'm going to eat them up with words.
00:12:38
Exactly 100%.
00:12:40
100%.
00:12:41
Or just use it as your, you can, you can turn it around and you can laugh on yourself and make a joke of it and it works out.
00:12:48
Some people are famous.
00:12:49
The world knows them now because of that.
00:12:51
Those those instances in life at a young age when that was a, like you said, a coping mechanism.
00:12:58
Yeah.
00:12:59
And the other thing that I find really interesting about that kind of comedic sense.
00:13:05
So my, my dad is also my dad was an amateur stand up.
00:13:09
My brother is very funny, which is wonderful and very frustrating because he's six years younger than me.
00:13:16
And like just very smart works at it really has it together.
00:13:21
And I'm like, no, no, no, I'm the funny one.
00:13:23
That's what I have.
00:13:24
We have all that other stuff.
00:13:26
Give me that.
00:13:27
Exactly.
00:13:28
The thing is, is I said that to him once and he's like, Aaron, you have so many things because he's also nicer than me.
00:13:35
He was like, no, look at all the things you're doing well. It's like, great. Now you're nicer than me too. Great.
00:13:41
I can't win.
00:13:43
But it is it's wonderful. It's wonderful to have a sibling who is that kind of person.
00:13:49
Also, he's sarcastic and like not an angel. He's a he is a regular human being, but he is a he's a really solid guy.
00:13:56
So that's very nice.
00:13:58
And I think with with one of the things that's interesting about having a comedic sense is yes, can be a big coping mechanism.
00:14:05
But also, it can be such a great way to break the ice and make people feel comfortable.
00:14:11
So much of it is because I use it as a coping mechanism to keep people at an arms distance for decades.
00:14:20
And I'm just discovering the ways to make it more of an integrated part of me and not all of my personality.
00:14:31
Right, right.
00:14:33
And when you were younger, it was the anxiety that was really the killer for you. That was something that was.
00:14:42
Yeah, anxiety. I started it's I don't know when I first realized I had depression.
00:14:51
I think it was about the seventh grade, but I also remember. Do you remember the song puff the magic dragon.
00:14:58
Oh, of course. Yeah.
00:15:00
So I heard that in.
00:15:01
I was a story book wasn't it.
00:15:03
Yeah, exactly. It's a story.
00:15:05
And then he's this boy and he has a friend that's a dragon and they have all these adventures and then the boy gets a little bit older and he's too old for imaginary friends.
00:15:18
And then it ends with a puff the magic dragon like he's starting to lose scales and he goes off into his cave by himself and that's the end of the song.
00:15:27
And as a song we have children sing.
00:15:30
And by the way, you're going to get older and like you're responsible for the for your imaginary friends ending up with clinical depression.
00:15:39
But I remember crying at that song. I was like in the fourth grade and just like crying.
00:15:46
So I was just like, that's what's going to happen.
00:15:48
To look forward to. Yeah.
00:15:50
The hope to hope you were still in.
00:15:52
Yes.
00:15:53
So it is. I think I always had depression.
00:15:56
And that carried on throughout school.
00:15:59
Yeah, it's definitely it's definitely something I've always it's, you know, I feel like my whole family kind of deals with a lot of depression.
00:16:08
But it's it's it's strange because there's part of me that's like if I could just make my brain very different, because depression can be really exhausting anxiety can be really exhausting.
00:16:21
Sometimes it's like having a really intense workout that I didn't agree to, like, oh great. It's just I'm just going to feel tired and awful.
00:16:30
But now that can that also with it would it leave you to the point where you because I know it can even get to the point where people stay indoors.
00:16:39
They don't want to go outside.
00:16:40
They don't want to want to be around anybody.
00:16:42
They like bedridden.
00:16:44
I mean, there's some people that I know that are bedridden. They pretty much shut themselves off to the rest of the world because of it.
00:16:51
Yeah.
00:16:52
I'm glad you brought that up because it is I've had what I guess are nervous breakdowns. I call them nerve bees.
00:17:00
I've had those happen to me before.
00:17:04
And it is or it's just everything is too much. I can't handle it. I can't handle people and I love people.
00:17:10
But I just like everything seems like too much. Everything feels gray.
00:17:16
And I've been lucky enough through therapy and support and asking for help and medication that I've been able to always get to the other side of it.
00:17:30
But I do also really like how weird and creative my brain is.
00:17:35
Yeah. Embracing it also.
00:17:37
Mm hmm.
00:17:38
The uniqueness of it. Yeah.
00:17:40
Now, when you were dealing with the depression and anxiety, was there a turning point?
00:17:47
Like at some time where you, because I know right now you just mentioned you were going through, you did therapy and that was for the depression or was it for both?
00:17:54
Yeah. It was for the depression and anxiety.
00:17:58
So here's the thing for me. I feel like, and this is very weird to say as a storyteller, because I do what you're doing an excellent job of is like, was there a turning point?
00:18:07
Was there a moment where everything changed?
00:18:09
Yeah.
00:18:10
But for me, it's been a lot of different moments because I will figure something out and then there's something else to deal with.
00:18:18
But I feel more able to than I was before.
00:18:22
It was one specific thing that knocked you off the horse and this is it. I got to change it.
00:18:27
Exactly. I'm like, I'm fixed now.
00:18:29
Right. Yeah. I wish it was that easy.
00:18:31
Wouldn't it? Wouldn't that be great?
00:18:33
A lot of times. And that's the thing I guess probably with you, I know for myself, you have in a lot of people, I think we all can relate that there's little hints that happen along the way.
00:18:44
And if you're sensitive enough, you can pick up to it and start making those adjustments yourself.
00:18:49
Agreed. 100%. I think, and I've talked about this before, one of the things was when I went away to university, the support I had in that kind of stuff.
00:19:01
And I never been to therapy. Everything just kind of went.
00:19:05
And I really went through such a terrible depression.
00:19:09
And like, I feel so sorry for my first year roommate, JB, you are a lovely person. I'm so sorry.
00:19:14
But it was like getting to class felt like a marathon sometimes.
00:19:20
Everything felt exhausting.
00:19:22
So I think one of my big turning points is I was in a group, like a therapy group.
00:19:29
And we were supposed to choose a character or an animal or that kind of thing to represent us when things were really bad.
00:19:39
And so what I came up with, because I was like, a person who read a lot of like myths and stuff like, we'll put it this way, Richard, my librarian in high school knew me by first name.
00:19:51
It was and I was in a big school.
00:19:54
A bookworm.
00:19:55
Loved books.
00:19:56
Yeah, yeah.
00:19:58
I was really into the myth of the Phoenix that it like came to the end of its life and then just kind of rising of the exact like kind of rose again with flames very beautiful.
00:20:10
And so I was in the University of Guelph and my depression and all that sort of stuff got to the point where it felt everything felt impossible.
00:20:21
And so I went back to live with my parents in Toronto and go to another school. And at the time I felt like such a failure because I was like, who can't deal with this turns out a lot of people, but who can't, you know, I'm not even an adult, all these things, all these awful messages I was giving myself.
00:20:39
And then I started going to this new school I started going to the University of Toronto and really enjoyed it. And I ended up getting a tattoo of a Phoenix on my body to sort of just remind myself.
00:20:52
And to me that was one of the turning points because it everything it felt a bit like Russian movie, Gray for a while like I was trudging place to place.
00:21:04
And I felt all the shame for feeling like I'd given up instead of kept fighting.
00:21:12
Because sometimes it's not that you're you've stopped fighting. It's that that way you were fighting isn't working. And so if a sword stops working, there's other things you could use.
00:21:23
Exactly.
00:21:24
You could use a bow and arrow or whatever. But anyways, I got this tattoo on my back and I just remember that feeling of being like this is to remind myself that just because something is done doesn't mean it's the end that I can always come back.
00:21:42
And to me that was what that tattoo was one of the turning points in me realizing that I was in control of my life.
00:21:50
Yeah, that's that's that's an interesting point. And to backtrack a little bit.
00:21:57
Now you said with the depression that it was you mentioned the puff the magic dragon but was there something you think that was the trigger of it all or because I think it's even it can be genetics you mentioned that your father also it was your brother.
00:22:15
There was family members that struggled with the same thing. Now, I wonder if it was something that you just thinking back you can link it to maybe it had to do with genetics or it was the the the things you were dealing with in school, the anxiety, all of that it was just a whole
00:22:34
yeah, left that out of all of those things and it was weighing down on you to the point where one of the things you you ended up dealing with because of that was depression.
00:22:45
Yeah, that's a that's a great question. I feel like it is kind of plethora because it is. So my dad side of the family, very Irish Catholic.
00:22:55
I mean my my dad side of the family.
00:22:58
Sorry.
00:23:00
Were they are they very religious or well yeah it is it's so they're definitely like my aunt is a nine my great aunt was a nine. There's a picture of me as a baby surrounded by nuns in full habit.
00:23:13
Oh wow. Okay, like the black and white.
00:23:16
One time it was, it was Eastern I was flipping through the channels, and one of the channels had a cousin of mine, who is a priest, doing the the the ceremony I'm not really this I'm using the words, doing the the mass, because I'm not Catholic, my dad side of the family is Catholic
00:23:37
my mom is not. But it is. So there's the religious part of it. And there's also, I think this idea of, well that's just how certain people are. So I do think there is a certain amount of genetics. It does seem to run in the family.
00:23:52
But also, and I, I want to believe things are better for kids now because, especially because they just a lot of them seem nicer than I remember kids being.
00:24:04
I hope that's true because I want things to be good for kids I love kids but anyways, so much of the stuff wasn't talked about and I think that's part of it it felt like walking through a room with the lights off, you know bumping into things.
00:24:16
Yeah, a lot of that a lot of that back then was taboo. Yeah, they yeah it was it was like even with the autism maybe they just didn't have a name, a label for it yet but there was there was a lot of stuff that yeah now years later.
00:24:31
There I guess just hindsight is 2020 I don't know but yeah. Yeah, I also think sometimes the way different things present in girls and women aren't recognized it's more like I feel like people realize that women have depression and women have autism now more.
00:24:52
Yeah, I've had a lot of, you know, people telling me well well women weren't diagnosed with autism until recently, or, and I say this to all my fellow autistics I say this with all the love of my heart we're all different.
00:25:06
But people are like but you're not good at math and you don't like trains so how could you be autistic.
00:25:11
That's something that I was in the beginning I was always thinking of when I did hear the word autism until I discovered that there's so many spectrums of it that.
00:25:19
Yeah. Yeah, and let me tell you Richard I was very bad at.
00:25:27
famously, I had to be sent to there was a special class that was like so there was regular math and then there was business math, which we had textbooks that were like 20 years out of date.
00:25:39
And then the kids in my class was so bored that he was flipping a lighter in his desk and he said his desk on fire like it was just, it was not a class for people that were going to do much.
00:25:52
I mean you get the pluses, you the subtraction the addition the multiplication but then they start throwing letters in the equation and I'm like okay you asked me there.
00:26:04
And it is like I there's a friend of mine who when she's stressed out she does math because she's like there's always an answer, which sounds beautiful to me.
00:26:12
But every time I see math I'm like no, like I run away like it's a horror movie like no.
00:26:18
That's just not your subject.
00:26:20
Nope, not my subject.
00:26:22
So it probably was, it was a combination of a lot of different things that put you in that place, and you dealt with it for years and you said you didn't see any therapy like how did you, how did you.
00:26:36
I didn't, I started in university, and I think it was basically might have been my resident advisor who suggested it.
00:26:45
It started being a thing that people suggested.
00:26:49
So they were noticing it was very.
00:26:52
Yeah, oh yeah.
00:26:53
Yeah, it was very it was very clear.
00:26:56
And that's one of the wonderful things about support, especially, I think there's a lot of stereotypes about women saying bad things behind each other's backs or like taking someone aside and gossiping about someone else.
00:27:12
One of the things I think we don't talk about necessarily is how women will take you aside and be like, hey, I've noticed that this is happening.
00:27:22
Are you okay?
00:27:23
Which I don't think maybe, I mean, I'm not a cis straight man, so I don't know, but it doesn't seem like my male counterparts really got that in the same way.
00:27:33
And I wouldn't have gone for help as early as I had if people hadn't told me that that was an option and it was okay.
00:27:40
How about your parents or your family?
00:27:42
Were they giving you any clues as to I think you need to get this checked out?
00:27:48
You're not looking for it.
00:27:50
Well, my parents are of the generation where you didn't do that.
00:27:54
Oh.
00:27:55
And they also, my parents grew up very working class and then became teachers and we became middle class.
00:28:04
And I feel like there were just a bunch of elements of you don't go and pay someone to talk about your feelings.
00:28:13
You just do the thing.
00:28:14
You figure it out.
00:28:15
Exactly.
00:28:16
You figure it out.
00:28:17
And it wasn't, it's like they weren't saying anything awful to me.
00:28:21
It wasn't anything.
00:28:22
It was like, this is what worked for us.
00:28:24
This is what's always worked.
00:28:25
Just do that and you'll be fine.
00:28:27
And that wasn't working for me, especially because there were other options.
00:28:32
So it is with my parents, I think back and it's got to have been so complicated for them to have a kid where there was just a bunch of stuff that didn't make sense.
00:28:46
Where I wasn't like other kids and, you know, they just did the best that they could.
00:28:53
Do I wish that they were given the messaging that it's okay to go to therapy?
00:28:59
They're now very supportive of all that kind of stuff that I've done now, which is wonderful.
00:29:06
But I just feel like they weren't given that message, so they didn't give it to me.
00:29:11
Yeah, exactly.
00:29:12
And I think probably it maybe it's safe to say years later you were the one that opened up that world to them.
00:29:18
Like, wow, this is even, this is a possibility to see that work with your daughter.
00:29:23
That's so kind of you to say.
00:29:24
Thank you.
00:29:25
I appreciate that.
00:29:26
I think that could very well because that like you said, if especially the generation before us and even ourselves probably if we're not passed down something and we're not familiar with it, we're not aware of it, and then it's going to be very hard for us to give that to the next person because we're ignorant.
00:29:46
100% 100%.
00:29:49
Yeah, I've had conversations with because I have friends that are various different ages and I had a conversation with a friend not that long ago and he was like, well, I don't believe in therapy and I was like, it's not.
00:30:00
Yeah.
00:30:01
Like it exists.
00:30:03
I promise you also sorry for listeners who are into Santa Claus.
00:30:09
He can be real to you.
00:30:11
But it is, I feel like there's a lot of messaging where it is, and if he's listening, I won't say his name, but if he's listening, just take it from me and Richard maybe maybe give it a try.
00:30:23
But why not give it a try.
00:30:25
And that's easy for me to say, I live in a country where.
00:30:29
Yeah, that person knows best you're right, but like, I live in a country where it's like a lot of that is covered. And also, I have been pretty lucky with the professionals I've been to that they haven't said anything really messed up or made me feel uncomfortable or any of that kind of stuff.
00:30:48
I've never, you know, a friend of mine was her therapist hit on her.
00:30:55
Oh, wow. Not everyone's experience is the same. But I mean, it's not it's a nice thing to have as an option to explore.
00:31:04
And I mean, if we're talking about it, and any kind of thing that you're dealing with, there's, you're always going to have the good with the bad, but I think as far as that goes, there's a lot more good that outweighs it.
00:31:16
You're going to have the bad apples, you're going to have the bad, the bad cases, but it, I don't think it's the exception.
00:31:22
And I would also love to suggest this because I'm, I think I've convinced my friend to do this, because, like you said, you know, the person's the best expert on what is comfortable for them.
00:31:34
But one of the things that I found amazing as a storyteller and one of the things I often tell clients is right every day, write a journal, write whatever it is, because that's the thing is like, I tend to be a very inaccurate.
00:31:51
So I don't have an experience or a lot of my experiences partly because the way my brain works is I will miss certain social cues, but also there are times when at the time I have a feeling about something.
00:32:02
And then when I'm writing it later, I allow myself to be more generous both to myself and other people and especially some with with anxiety, I'm like, oh my God, I did this thing and everyone thinks I'm weird and I'm like, maybe they are all people with their own lives and I'm not the center
00:32:20
the center of everyone's narrative.
00:32:22
So maybe they didn't even notice or maybe I did something
00:32:28
and it was embarrassing and they laughed
00:32:30
and I like to make people laugh.
00:32:32
But when I'm able to both write down about my experiences
00:32:35
and think them through that way,
00:32:39
it's made such a huge difference in my mental health
00:32:42
and has also led me, I think,
00:32:45
to do the storytelling work that I do.
00:32:47
Was that what led to you getting better?
00:32:50
Was it having that outlet?
00:32:52
I think writing did change my life forever.
00:32:56
This is that and I'm working on an article
00:32:59
about this right now, improv, which is improv, which is-
00:33:04
That's the talent, that's the talent.
00:33:07
That is very kind of me to say.
00:33:08
I respect anybody that does that.
00:33:09
Thank you, I really enjoyed it.
00:33:11
It's truly the dorkiest thing and I say this,
00:33:14
anybody who loves improv out there, so do I, hooray,
00:33:17
yay for improv, but I have spent many hours of my life
00:33:20
asking strangers to give me a fruit and an emotion.
00:33:24
Like it's, if I break it down, many hours of my life.
00:33:28
Is that what they, yeah,
00:33:29
because I've heard that they also do,
00:33:31
like they'll just give you a circle and say,
00:33:33
okay, now you have to make something of it.
00:33:35
I don't know, a little circle or a square
00:33:37
and you have to, I don't know, create a story
00:33:40
or do something with it.
00:33:41
Exactly.
00:33:43
But one of the things with improv is as a person who is still,
00:33:48
I'm always gonna deal with anxiety.
00:33:51
And anxiety when I was at my worst, everything felt like,
00:33:56
have you ever, someone ever said something like,
00:33:59
oh, I like the way you walk.
00:34:00
And then suddenly you don't remember how you walk anymore
00:34:02
because you get so aware.
00:34:04
Health conscious of it, yes, exactly.
00:34:06
Exactly.
00:34:07
I know exactly what you mean.
00:34:09
Yeah, and it's just like, how do I move my arms?
00:34:12
What are my arms?
00:34:14
So when my anxiety was at its worst,
00:34:18
that was what everything felt like.
00:34:21
I was like, how do you make eye contact?
00:34:23
Where do you put your hand when you lean on the wall?
00:34:25
Like everything felt impossible.
00:34:28
How old were you like when you were feeling it
00:34:30
at that point at its highest?
00:34:33
Great question.
00:34:33
I'm gonna say early twenties was when it was at its worst.
00:34:37
Oh, and you were going to college,
00:34:39
so it probably was near impossible to study, focus,
00:34:44
any of that.
00:34:44
It was not, yeah, it was not the greatest.
00:34:47
I do sometimes wish that I could go back to school
00:34:51
with who I am now, because there's all these things
00:34:55
where it's like, I love school and I love learning
00:34:58
and reading and that kind of stuff.
00:34:59
And there were definitely times where I wasn't able
00:35:01
to perform at the level I wanted to
00:35:04
because my brain felt like it was fighting me.
00:35:07
Yeah.
00:35:08
So yeah, I started doing improv
00:35:11
and I started doing improv at, I was like 24
00:35:15
and because a friend of mine had taken the class
00:35:17
and the thing with improv is there is no wrong way
00:35:21
to do it other than if someone says something
00:35:23
and you don't agree, like if I said, oh, hey Richard,
00:35:29
here we are in a spaceship.
00:35:31
And you were like, it's not a spaceship, it's the library.
00:35:35
That's the only real way you could do improv badly
00:35:39
because then you've made the other person have to
00:35:40
like start from, you just keep building.
00:35:43
Okay, you're just supposed to, right, carry on.
00:35:46
Exactly, because what I could do,
00:35:48
because sometimes people get nervous,
00:35:49
is I could be like, you're right, the library
00:35:52
and the spaceship is amazing.
00:35:54
Like there's always ways to come back.
00:35:56
Did you check yourself into a workshop
00:35:59
or this was part of your like an elective course
00:36:03
during your college days?
00:36:05
This was like, I was probably finished school
00:36:08
at this point, yes, I must have been.
00:36:10
A friend of mine took the class, she's awesome.
00:36:13
I wanted to do a thing that she was doing.
00:36:16
So I took this thing, I planned to do one class
00:36:18
and then never do it again.
00:36:20
And then it was like a rom-com where, you know,
00:36:26
it was just like, it was so much fun and so neat.
00:36:28
I was like, oh, this is my life now.
00:36:30
This is what I did.
00:36:31
You cut the bug.
00:36:32
Exactly, did I ever, I caught it big time.
00:36:36
And so yeah, it was, there was no wrong way to do it.
00:36:39
It was all about supporting each other.
00:36:41
And if you made a weird choice, that was great
00:36:45
because it gave someone else something to work with.
00:36:47
So if I said something strange,
00:36:49
instead of just being neutral, it gave us more chance to play.
00:36:54
And so improv taught me so much about having fun
00:36:58
and playing with being different, it changed my life.
00:37:03
And so this is something that you're,
00:37:06
are you still involved with now, improv?
00:37:09
It has moved on.
00:37:11
So I love improv.
00:37:13
I still use a lot of the exercises I learned from there
00:37:17
and techniques with my story coaching work.
00:37:21
I don't do improv much anymore.
00:37:23
It's one of those things, it's like working out,
00:37:26
I understand I don't work out.
00:37:28
But like, if you don't keep working that muscle,
00:37:32
it's not strong anymore.
00:37:34
And so it is, I love it.
00:37:37
I am doing other things now,
00:37:39
so I don't really have time for it in the same way,
00:37:40
but it has really, it really is,
00:37:43
I would say kind of the foundation
00:37:45
of a lot of the stuff that I do.
00:37:47
Yeah, exactly.
00:37:48
If you don't use it, you lose it.
00:37:51
So how did you get involved with storytelling?
00:37:54
How did that come about?
00:37:56
Well, I was doing a lot of different comedy stuff.
00:37:59
I've always loved comedy.
00:38:01
And a friend of mine who is a standup
00:38:03
was gonna be at a storytelling show
00:38:06
on a show that was, I believe at that time,
00:38:08
was Moth Up Toronto, became Raccoon Tours.
00:38:11
I love to shout out other amazing folks
00:38:15
in the city doing cool stuff.
00:38:17
So there was the show Raccoon Tours.
00:38:19
And I was in an improv troupe with this person.
00:38:23
And so I was like, well, I'll go.
00:38:25
I was, I wanna say I'm a very good and supportive person,
00:38:28
but what I did is I was like, I'll go,
00:38:30
I'll see her, I'll sneak out the back.
00:38:33
And then I could be like, well, I saw your weird thing.
00:38:37
Oh, look, incognito.
00:38:39
Exactly.
00:38:39
I'm like, I don't know what this storytelling thing is,
00:38:42
but like, no, thank you.
00:38:44
What am I gonna like?
00:38:44
How many is it?
00:38:45
Here's Stories for Kids.
00:38:46
It's in it, slide out.
00:38:47
Yeah, not into it.
00:38:49
Went, loved it.
00:38:52
It was amazing.
00:38:53
It was everything I'd wanted to do with,
00:38:56
cause there were funny stories, they were serious,
00:38:58
there was a combination and it was, I was like,
00:39:01
oh, this is what I've been looking for.
00:39:03
This is all of those different things
00:39:04
that has the improv like community building,
00:39:08
supporting each other, element, the performance,
00:39:11
the possibility of comedy,
00:39:13
the fact that I could talk about more serious things,
00:39:17
all of that in one art form.
00:39:20
Now, is that when they're performing
00:39:22
or when they're doing their act,
00:39:23
is it just, is it in one individual
00:39:26
or is it a group of people or a combination of the both?
00:39:30
Yeah, it usually is probably about five people
00:39:35
telling true stories from their lives.
00:39:37
Different shows do it differently.
00:39:39
Sometimes you'll see a show separately.
00:39:43
Yeah, sometimes you'll see a show
00:39:44
where it's one person the whole time,
00:39:46
but usually it is five different people on a theme
00:39:51
telling a story.
00:39:52
And you're also, this is something that you teach
00:39:55
as far as the workshops and the seminars
00:39:57
and you would help people get their story
00:40:01
and their voice out there.
00:40:03
Exactly.
00:40:04
What I like to say is I'm like a story detective.
00:40:08
I'm here to ask questions and you already have the story.
00:40:12
I always like to think about like,
00:40:15
I was on a podcast recently talking about the movie
00:40:17
Afterlife, which is a story about people,
00:40:23
when they die, they get to choose one memory
00:40:26
to continue on the rest of their life with.
00:40:28
And they're just very ordinary people.
00:40:31
And I think that's one of the things I do
00:40:33
is like that movie is so effective.
00:40:35
You see these beautiful small moments
00:40:37
and how important they are.
00:40:39
And to me, it is, there's no such thing
00:40:42
as an ordinary person.
00:40:43
The ordinary is extraordinary.
00:40:45
That's good.
00:40:46
And we often, I say we, I mean me,
00:40:50
often forget there's all these beautiful moments in your life.
00:40:55
And a lot of us walk around feeling disconnected
00:40:59
and feeling alone.
00:41:00
And as soon as you give people a place to be vulnerable,
00:41:05
which you do both as someone who runs a show
00:41:08
or someone who I put together with a team,
00:41:13
a storytelling anthology,
00:41:15
you can give space that way,
00:41:17
but you can also give space to people
00:41:20
by just being vulnerable, by telling your story,
00:41:23
about feelings that you've had, just to be very, very real.
00:41:27
It lets people know that it's okay
00:41:29
for them to be the same way.
00:41:31
And it also reminds them
00:41:34
of all these moments in their life.
00:41:36
And then the third thing I think it does is,
00:41:38
if you've changed, if I hear a story
00:41:41
about how someone else has changed,
00:41:43
I know it's possible for me to change as well.
00:41:46
So my job is basically to ask people a bunch of questions,
00:41:52
we find a moment and then we shape it.
00:41:54
And then they go and they go and crush it.
00:41:56
Whether it is to tell a story about their life
00:42:00
to their grandkids, or to lobby the government,
00:42:05
or to do crowdfunding.
00:42:08
I have a client who has launched an incredible book
00:42:12
called Mamacita, which has authentic recipes
00:42:16
that are delicious.
00:42:17
And that book has helped to get her parents to,
00:42:24
I'm sorry, I don't know the exact phrase,
00:42:26
but with their immigration process.
00:42:29
Yeah, so it is to me, what my job is,
00:42:33
is to help people find and shape those stories
00:42:38
so they can go off and do something incredible.
00:42:45
You don't have to tell your stories,
00:42:47
you don't have to share them with anyone else.
00:42:49
If that story changes you, that's all it needs to do.
00:42:53
Yeah, yeah.
00:42:55
And that's powerful also,
00:42:56
because especially coming from where you come from
00:42:59
with the anxiety, with the depression,
00:43:02
with everything being too much,
00:43:05
going from that place to where now you were able
00:43:10
to get on the stage and perform in front of a handful
00:43:14
of people, probably hundreds of people,
00:43:16
I don't know what the crowd capacity was,
00:43:17
but even just five or six strangers
00:43:20
to speak in front of these strangers
00:43:22
or to perform something, that takes a lot of courage
00:43:27
and it takes a lot of guts and a lot of doing
00:43:29
to come out of your shell.
00:43:30
Like you said, you still deal with it now,
00:43:32
that was something I wanted to ask you was, are there any,
00:43:38
you don't have to give away all of your secrets,
00:43:40
but just are there some things,
00:43:42
maybe one or two points that somebody who is dealing
00:43:46
with anxiety, the fear of public speaking,
00:43:49
any of that that you can offer
00:43:53
that might be able to help them get over that hurdle?
00:43:56
Please, I'd love to.
00:43:58
Yes, also here's the thing,
00:44:00
is like I am very much an open person,
00:44:03
I don't really have secrets where people are like,
00:44:06
what's your company secret?
00:44:08
What's the stuff you don't tell anyone?
00:44:09
It is because Eddie, if you're working with me,
00:44:12
we're gonna find the ones that are right for you.
00:44:15
I don't have secrets, I have strategies, but yeah.
00:44:19
So here are a few things that I wish I knew.
00:44:22
I like that you deal with the individual,
00:44:24
that's a good point.
00:44:25
Exactly, exactly, it's all about finding
00:44:27
what's right for you.
00:44:28
And that I would say one of my big things is,
00:44:31
what is the best for you?
00:44:33
Think of a day that has just gone so well,
00:44:37
where everything felt amazing.
00:44:40
And what are the things that you did?
00:44:43
What are the things that made you feel comfortable?
00:44:45
Can you recreate that?
00:44:47
So I often, when I'm working with clients,
00:44:49
especially if they're anxious,
00:44:51
because honestly that's one of my specialties,
00:44:53
I've been there, I get it,
00:44:55
is what's going to give you the most comfort
00:45:00
and make you feel the best?
00:45:02
So if you have a talk at two,
00:45:04
what do you do when you first wake up?
00:45:07
What do you eat?
00:45:08
Do you go for a walk?
00:45:09
Do you sit in front of one of those like LED lights
00:45:12
that give you a little bit of extra vitamin D?
00:45:16
Do you have some tea?
00:45:17
Who do you talk to?
00:45:19
All of those kind of things, what works for you?
00:45:22
And what works for me might not be the right thing for you.
00:45:26
That's great, yeah, I like that.
00:45:27
I think that's one of my biggest ones.
00:45:29
It's all kind of thing.
00:45:30
Exactly, exactly.
00:45:32
And also, and this is truly,
00:45:36
if I could get in a time machine
00:45:37
and tell younger Aaron this,
00:45:41
don't let anyone take joy away from you
00:45:46
and take healing away from you.
00:45:48
Because I'm a very corny person, so it's totally fine.
00:45:55
But I know that people, especially hurt people, hurt people,
00:45:59
where sometimes when I was starting to do better,
00:46:03
I would have people say stuff like,
00:46:07
oh, well, I wouldn't go to therapy that's so corny
00:46:09
or like you can't handle it yourself.
00:46:12
And I would start to feel shame about it.
00:46:14
And then I would remind myself, well, I am corny,
00:46:17
so that's fine.
00:46:19
So that didn't hurt as much.
00:46:20
But I know friends who've fallen off the sobriety wagon,
00:46:24
because people say stuff like,
00:46:25
well, you're not the same person or you're corny
00:46:28
or whatever now.
00:46:28
Yeah, you're so serious now.
00:46:29
So I think one of the things,
00:46:31
yeah, I think one of the things is just,
00:46:33
don't let people steal your joy.
00:46:34
That's right.
00:46:36
When you do that, you're ultimately giving power
00:46:41
to that person and you're relinquishing your own power
00:46:44
and giving it to them.
00:46:45
Now they have control over your feelings, your emotions
00:46:48
and everything that comes with it.
00:46:51
Exactly.
00:46:52
And the other thing I will say,
00:46:54
and then I'm gonna have one very practical one,
00:46:56
but forgive yourself.
00:46:58
Because I still let people steal my joy sometimes.
00:47:01
And I'm 42 years old.
00:47:04
Had to think about that for a second.
00:47:06
I'm 42 years old.
00:47:07
I've done a lot of therapy.
00:47:08
I've done a lot of that stuff.
00:47:09
And I will still, I'm like, I don't even like this person.
00:47:12
Why do I care what they think?
00:47:15
Oh no, then I'll go like, oh my God,
00:47:17
like all this work that I've done is a waste.
00:47:20
No, it's not.
00:47:22
I think we've all been there too.
00:47:24
Sorry?
00:47:25
I think we've all been there too.
00:47:26
I think we, yeah, we've all been there.
00:47:28
100%.
00:47:29
You gotta forgive yourself.
00:47:31
And the last practical thing that I would say,
00:47:35
so if you're wanting to tell your stories
00:47:37
and I think everyone will benefit from it,
00:47:41
I'm not gonna tell anyone you should
00:47:43
because your life is your business.
00:47:46
But I will say as someone whose life has been changed
00:47:49
because of the power of stories,
00:47:51
it's, I have the amazing people I have in my life,
00:47:55
the way I'm able to be myself more,
00:47:59
the opportunities that I've had, my job,
00:48:02
all comes from creativity specifically storytelling,
00:48:06
is to keep track of moments in your life.
00:48:11
Small moments, big moments.
00:48:14
Every day, you can write,
00:48:16
there's a storyteller, Matthew Dix out of the States
00:48:19
and he has like a spreadsheet.
00:48:21
I have a notebook, write down those little victories,
00:48:26
those little wins, those little stories.
00:48:29
Keep track of your small and big victories.
00:48:32
And I also have a compliment book
00:48:35
where I write down what people have said nice things about me
00:48:38
because my depression and my anxiety
00:48:40
will say very mean things to me.
00:48:43
And then I look at that book and I was like,
00:48:45
look at these things, depression.
00:48:48
What you're saying isn't true.
00:48:50
Something that you can recollect on,
00:48:52
keeping your own scorecard, your personal scorecard.
00:48:56
Yes.
00:48:57
How long have you been doing this for?
00:49:00
Coaching, mentoring, teaching these, these work jobs?
00:49:04
It's been about 10 years.
00:49:07
I've been doing comedy for probably 20.
00:49:11
I've been doing storytelling stuff for 10.
00:49:14
And it is truly, I try not to be this person,
00:49:20
but like I feel like I've won the lottery with a life.
00:49:24
I just, I get to do so many incredible things.
00:49:27
I've met so many incredible people from it.
00:49:30
You're one of those people that can say,
00:49:32
I truly love what I'm doing.
00:49:35
Yeah. And I will also say, here's the thing,
00:49:39
I'm lucky enough to make money at this.
00:49:42
There it is.
00:49:43
But when I was trying to make ends meet
00:49:48
and I was working jobs I hated,
00:49:50
the fact that I was still able to be creative
00:49:53
was just so life changing.
00:49:56
Because I think sometimes there's the idea,
00:49:58
if you're not getting paid for it, it's not legitimate.
00:50:01
Or I was talking to a client recently and she was like,
00:50:04
well, I don't really have time to devote to what I wanna do.
00:50:08
I have these ideas, but I don't have the time.
00:50:10
She's a really young child.
00:50:12
And to me it is, is there a line on a paper
00:50:16
that wasn't there before?
00:50:17
Did you write one word?
00:50:19
Did you have one thought?
00:50:20
That didn't exist before.
00:50:22
And now it does because of you.
00:50:24
Yes. That's beautiful.
00:50:25
And you build off of that.
00:50:27
Mm-hmm.
00:50:29
Yeah, creativity has made my life so much better.
00:50:31
And this is what you're, like you said,
00:50:33
you're doing this full time.
00:50:34
You do workshops.
00:50:36
And now where I looked into the website
00:50:41
that you shared with me,
00:50:42
can you again share like some links or a website
00:50:45
or somewhere where people can find
00:50:47
if they're interested in more of what you do
00:50:49
that can find some of your work or get in contact with you
00:50:52
to maybe hook up a workshop or book a class or a session with you.
00:50:58
Oh, for sure.
00:50:59
I would love all of that.
00:51:01
I will send you.
00:51:02
I'm going to make a little page on my website
00:51:04
for your listeners that actually has some free worksheets on it
00:51:08
because here's the thing,
00:51:10
even if you don't hire me and please hire me, I'm very fine.
00:51:14
But if you, you know, we live in a different country.
00:51:17
It doesn't, you don't have time.
00:51:18
You don't have the budget right now.
00:51:20
There's some free workshops to just get you started
00:51:23
because what I want most of the world
00:51:25
is for everyone to give this a try.
00:51:28
At least give it a try, you're saying.
00:51:30
Exactly. Give it a try.
00:51:31
What the heck? Why not?
00:51:33
Yeah.
00:51:34
And the other thing is, is I have an Instagram.
00:51:38
My website is storystarcoaching.com,
00:51:42
but I will also give all of my different links.
00:51:45
I'll put a page on my website just for the listeners of the show.
00:51:50
Okay. Cool.
00:51:50
And then I'll also put that in the description box
00:51:53
so people can check it out.
00:51:53
Thank you.
00:51:54
And yes, absolutely.
00:51:56
Absolutely.
00:51:57
Thank you.
00:51:58
And the last thing I'd love to say about my work
00:52:01
because I feel like if you're a listener to the show,
00:52:04
you're probably a person that has some really interesting things
00:52:08
to say and like thinks about their life
00:52:11
and thinks about their place in the world.
00:52:13
I'm part of a group of people called the Pathfinders Collective.
00:52:16
There's three of us.
00:52:17
We met during the height of COVID at online shows.
00:52:23
We put together a yearly storytelling anthology on a theme.
00:52:28
Our newest one, Escape, comes out on April 4th.
00:52:32
All the money goes to water charity, charity water.
00:52:37
That'll be a link as well,
00:52:39
where it's giving water to clean water to people who need it.
00:52:44
But what we want more than anything
00:52:46
is to give people a chance to tell their story.
00:52:48
So if you have never told a story before,
00:52:50
if you've never written before,
00:52:52
but you have a story to share,
00:52:54
it will be releasing the new theme before too long.
00:53:00
Keep your eyes open on that website.
00:53:02
It's Pathfinders Collective.
00:53:04
We would love for you to have a story in that collection.
00:53:08
And I say you to the audience, but also you to Richard
00:53:10
because you're delightful.
00:53:11
I'm going to give you stories too.
00:53:13
Thank you, Erin. I appreciate it.
00:53:15
And is that going to be like live visuals?
00:53:18
How is that going to work?
00:53:19
Are you going to have a stage where people are invited
00:53:21
to show up and perform and share the story?
00:53:24
Yes, great question.
00:53:26
Yeah, with this collection,
00:53:29
it is all written stories that we put in an anthology
00:53:33
that you have as an e-book or like a physical book.
00:53:36
Oh, cool.
00:53:37
Yeah. So it is.
00:53:39
And that's one of the things that's so exciting
00:53:41
is we can have people from all over the world that way.
00:53:45
I do have a storytelling show in Toronto, Canada
00:53:48
called Storystar.
00:53:50
You know it's Toronto, Canada. Sorry.
00:53:52
In Toronto called Storystar,
00:53:55
where we have people physically on a stage.
00:53:58
It's at the back of a place called On Task Studio
00:54:01
run by my amazing friend, Alexandra Howell.
00:54:04
If you're in Toronto and looking for an art space
00:54:07
that is also a retail space,
00:54:09
you're supporting local artists in various ways.
00:54:13
That is where my show is out of.
00:54:16
It's a really small intimate space.
00:54:18
There will also be with the different tellers permission
00:54:22
video of those stories going up on my YouTube
00:54:25
before too long.
00:54:26
So there are options for you to see stories as well.
00:54:30
But for the Pathfinders Collective,
00:54:32
it is the written stories.
00:54:34
Now, is there going to be for the written stories,
00:54:38
is there a certain amount of maximum characters?
00:54:41
Like, do you want to keep it within a certain range?
00:54:44
Yeah, we usually do about like,
00:54:47
yeah, we usually do about 12 to 1500 words.
00:54:50
Okay.
00:54:51
So it's surprising.
00:54:54
Because for people, they're either like,
00:54:56
ah, so short or ah, too long.
00:54:59
But you'll be amazed what you can do
00:55:01
with that amount of words.
00:55:03
You can always, I mean, I like writing also
00:55:06
what I've learned and that's like
00:55:09
from just following up on a lot of old writers
00:55:13
and authors and their tactics and stuff.
00:55:15
But you always just write a rough draft,
00:55:17
whatever comes to mind and then slowly bit by bit,
00:55:20
you kind of fine tune it, you take out words.
00:55:23
So you can make it work.
00:55:24
I think that's plenty of space for people to...
00:55:27
Exactly.
00:55:28
And all of us are story professionals.
00:55:31
So we work with everyone as well.
00:55:34
So it is, yeah, basically like,
00:55:38
there's a lot of space.
00:55:39
If you're brand new to this, you know, just like,
00:55:42
oh, I have this idea, but I don't know what to do with it.
00:55:44
We're happy to meet with you on Zoom
00:55:46
and work on that as well.
00:55:49
We really want to encourage newer voices
00:55:51
because sometimes it gets to be very much,
00:55:54
I love the amount of people who,
00:55:57
there's people that that's what they do professionally
00:56:00
and that's very exciting.
00:56:02
And there's shows where it is people
00:56:03
who are all professionals,
00:56:05
like whether they're stand-up storytelling, et cetera,
00:56:09
in the city and in various cities, which is wonderful.
00:56:12
But sometimes I think one of the gaps
00:56:14
is people who are brand new.
00:56:16
And they have something interesting to say,
00:56:19
but how do you get past that like, oh, I'm brand new stage?
00:56:24
And you also have a YouTube channel, you say.
00:56:27
I do.
00:56:28
Wow, you're doing everything.
00:56:29
Erin is doing everything.
00:56:31
Thank you.
00:56:32
That is, yeah, well, that's the 8 HD for ya.
00:56:35
And one of the things I would actually love,
00:56:38
now that you were talking about, you can say everything.
00:56:43
I would love to give three little pieces of advice
00:56:46
for people who are new to this.
00:56:48
Please.
00:56:49
And they're wanting to do their stories
00:56:51
for whatever they're doing.
00:56:53
One of those is the empty page can be really overwhelming.
00:56:59
Record your story the first time,
00:57:02
record it on your phone or whatever
00:57:05
and go as long as you want and then listen to it
00:57:08
and then tell it to a friend and you'll find the parts,
00:57:12
you'll be able to start feeling,
00:57:14
we're like, ah, this doesn't feel right.
00:57:16
This feels like it's not necessary.
00:57:18
And you can start editing it down that way.
00:57:21
But I almost never write my first draft
00:57:24
as a written thing on a computer or on a piece of paper
00:57:29
because sometimes that blank paper
00:57:31
or that blank screen is too much for me.
00:57:33
But once I start talking, it helps.
00:57:37
The other thing is when people are looking for a story,
00:57:41
clients are often like, well, I don't know what story to tell.
00:57:44
What's your favorite story to tell?
00:57:46
What's the story when you introduce yourself to people?
00:57:49
What's the story where people are like, oh my God,
00:57:51
you gotta hear Richard has this great story.
00:57:53
Ah, and where they all gather around.
00:57:56
Or what's the first story that comes to mind today?
00:58:00
Because once you start with stories,
00:58:02
you're gonna find more and more and more.
00:58:04
There's no wrong way to start, just find something.
00:58:09
And the last piece of advice that I will give
00:58:14
is that realize that it takes a while to find your voice
00:58:21
and find the way you wanna tell your story
00:58:23
or do your standup or whatever it is.
00:58:27
So just try it a bunch of different ways.
00:58:30
Tell, write your story exactly how you wanna write it.
00:58:35
Maybe what if you do character voices?
00:58:40
What if you move around a lot?
00:58:43
Like try a bunch of different ways.
00:58:45
One of the things I love doing with clients
00:58:48
is they're stuck in a part of the story.
00:58:50
Tell the story, like you can use the same words,
00:58:53
how would your best friend do an imitation
00:58:57
of you telling that story?
00:59:00
What are different fun ways you can play with it?
00:59:03
Always follow the fun.
00:59:04
I saw an interview with Jordan Peele
00:59:06
and he said one of the secrets to his writing process
00:59:09
is follow the fun.
00:59:10
So I say that with every kind of creative thing you do,
00:59:13
follow the fun.
00:59:14
Getting back in touch with that imaginative spirit.
00:59:19
Exactly.
00:59:20
I see my niece, she's almost two
00:59:23
and she just runs around and everything's exciting.
00:59:27
She's like, oh my God, like it's just like a tree.
00:59:29
Wow. Everything is brand new.
00:59:31
Exactly. Yeah, those are the days.
00:59:34
My goal is to be like my niece, Yuna,
00:59:37
and just live my life with as much joy as possible
00:59:42
and to find the simple things to be amazing.
00:59:45
Yeah, that's a great way to approach it.
00:59:48
Especially nowadays, you know where it can be,
00:59:51
I guess it depends what you put in front of you
00:59:53
and what you're always feeling your life with,
00:59:55
but it could be a lot of doom and gloom,
00:59:58
but to approach it that way, Erin,
01:00:00
is a refreshing thing to hear.
01:00:02
Well, thank you.
01:00:03
I feel like the thing that I learned
01:00:06
is there's so many things in life I can't control.
01:00:08
And as someone of anxiety, like I was always like,
01:00:10
no, what if I could just control everything?
01:00:12
And I can't control how people see me.
01:00:15
I can't control the weather.
01:00:17
I can't control what awful decisions people are making.
01:00:21
I can't control politicians.
01:00:23
I can't control anything.
01:00:24
Gas prices?
01:00:25
Exactly, gas prices.
01:00:27
I can't control if my dad eats too many beans
01:00:30
and he's full of gas.
01:00:31
Like I can't control any of that.
01:00:33
Had to do at least one fart joke, that's the rule.
01:00:35
Anyways, but I can control myself
01:00:39
and I can just be like, well, this is really awful.
01:00:44
This feels terrible.
01:00:45
What can I do to make myself feel better,
01:00:49
to do a kind thing for someone else?
01:00:51
Those are the things I can control my perspective.
01:00:55
And wouldn't we get a lot more out of it
01:00:58
if that's where we put our attention and focus to
01:01:01
what we can control?
01:01:03
Yeah, yeah.
01:01:04
And I say that, of course, as a person who like,
01:01:07
a lot of things have gone very well through my life.
01:01:12
So that is in some ways very easy for me to say,
01:01:16
but also it was a hard battle to get to the point
01:01:20
where I could be like, well, I can control me.
01:01:22
That's all I can do.
01:01:23
Oh, right, yeah.
01:01:24
I don't know if it was the same with you,
01:01:27
but was there a lot of ticks?
01:01:30
Like you said, everything had to be right.
01:01:33
Everything had to be in order for you to just get by
01:01:36
and carry on with your day
01:01:38
when you were going back to earlier in your story
01:01:41
what you were talking about.
01:01:43
Was it the ADHD that, or like in a compulsive disorder?
01:01:47
Yeah, so for me, I don't think,
01:01:51
I have some like hand things that I do and I have since
01:01:55
like I was a kid that are just like little physical things.
01:01:58
I move my body in certain ways when I like stimming
01:02:03
is the phrase.
01:02:05
I don't have like certain things that I have to do
01:02:10
in the same way as some of my other peers do,
01:02:15
but there's definitely, because in many ways,
01:02:20
for years my brain hurt all the time,
01:02:23
it was like there had to be so many things I did for myself
01:02:27
to like sometimes even get myself out the door.
01:02:30
You mentioning that there's a neighbor of mine
01:02:34
and she, I don't know what it is.
01:02:35
I think it would have to be something to do with the,
01:02:38
what's the word?
01:02:39
Is it compulsive disorder?
01:02:41
Obsessive compulsive disorder?
01:02:42
You go obsessive compulsive disorder
01:02:44
because there's a lot of times that going to take out the trash
01:02:48
or we're getting in the car going downstairs
01:02:51
and she's outside and you could see that sometimes
01:02:55
she can take notice and see that we're coming by
01:02:57
and she tries to stop it, but there's times
01:02:59
that I've noticed walk by.
01:03:01
I don't really make it obvious I'll walk by
01:03:03
and I can see that she's, this is what she's doing,
01:03:06
but touch the post box.
01:03:09
She'll just keep touching it, touching it, walk away,
01:03:11
come back, touch it, touch it, touch it.
01:03:14
And that, I mean that pretty much is your life.
01:03:18
That just looks tough and it looks so hard to deal with,
01:03:23
but this is something that I've noticed
01:03:24
with one of my neighbors.
01:03:26
And that's one of the extreme kind of things.
01:03:29
Yeah, well it is.
01:03:31
So OCD isn't something that I have dealt with.
01:03:36
I definitely have had, with my anxiety,
01:03:39
there were certain times where there was,
01:03:41
I needed to have certain things that I would do
01:03:44
just to kind of calm myself down
01:03:46
or give myself a feeling of control.
01:03:49
But I will say the reading that I have done on OCD
01:03:55
and like a lot of different disorders,
01:03:57
it's interesting how a lot of the same things
01:04:01
come through, seem to come through in different ways.
01:04:05
And I really, I'm a bit of a Pollyanna in this way,
01:04:09
but I look forward to, and I really believe it can happen,
01:04:12
a time where it is people who touch the mailbox four times,
01:04:17
that's just something they do.
01:04:18
And people are like you and they're just walking by
01:04:21
and they notice, but they don't know about it.
01:04:23
Because whatever.
01:04:24
That's just, I mean that's what she's dealing with.
01:04:27
But I mean, I can tell that there are times
01:04:30
that she notices and sees me,
01:04:31
or if it's my wife and I, she sees us
01:04:34
and she tries to stop from doing it until we pass by
01:04:38
and then she carries on with it.
01:04:39
But I don't make a big deal out of it.
01:04:42
And it is, I am not a medical professional
01:04:46
or a mental health professional,
01:04:48
but I do think the more that we just all accept
01:04:52
that people are different,
01:04:53
that everyone's a little bit different,
01:04:56
and it becomes less of a shame thing.
01:04:59
Like I see, it's one of the things where it is,
01:05:02
I am not gonna cry, I made myself a promise
01:05:04
that I would not cry on a podcast this time,
01:05:07
but I see my friends' kids,
01:05:09
and I just see younger people
01:05:12
and the way they stand up for each other.
01:05:15
I was on a bus and there was a kid
01:05:18
who was doing some tics or something like that.
01:05:21
And some guy was like, you know,
01:05:25
elbowing the person beside him and saying something's not.
01:05:29
And there was a girl that must have been 12,
01:05:32
and she went, stop that.
01:05:34
You don't get to say that, you don't get to do that,
01:05:37
you stop it.
01:05:38
And it was just like the thought,
01:05:40
and this was not a kid that she knew,
01:05:42
he was just a stranger that had some tics or something.
01:05:46
And it was like, you don't get to do that.
01:05:49
And all I could think is just like,
01:05:51
oh, that's what kids are like now.
01:05:53
Like I watch kids making sure
01:05:56
that people's proper pronouns are used,
01:05:59
I watch them stand up for each other.
01:06:01
Are kids angels?
01:06:02
No, they're children.
01:06:04
But the fact that like this,
01:06:06
there just seems to be a thing with kids
01:06:11
where they're less focused on shame,
01:06:15
seemingly because they have been taught
01:06:17
that it is okay to be yourself more than we got taught.
01:06:23
It just like, it warms my heart.
01:06:25
I was on a subway one time,
01:06:27
I'm on the subway a lot, or buses.
01:06:29
And there was a bunch of kids, bunch of teenagers,
01:06:34
and one of them said a homophobic slur,
01:06:37
and another guy went, you don't get to do that.
01:06:40
Like that is, my uncle is gay,
01:06:42
and also gay people are just people,
01:06:45
you don't get to say something awful.
01:06:47
And I turned and they were all football players.
01:06:50
Oh, wow, okay.
01:06:51
In like, they had the whole uniform,
01:06:54
and the first kid was like, you're right,
01:06:56
that was, that was shitty, what I just said.
01:06:59
And I had to get off the subway because I was like,
01:07:01
I'm going to cry, and I don't wanna be
01:07:03
that weird old lady that's like,
01:07:05
you kids nowadays, it's so beautiful.
01:07:09
Like I went out, I got out of the subway,
01:07:11
and I just walked the rest of the way home.
01:07:13
Because it is, I just see that,
01:07:15
and I see the ways people show up for each other,
01:07:18
and people that aren't kids as well.
01:07:22
And it's one of the things I love about storytelling
01:07:23
is when people are able to jettison shame,
01:07:27
it's amazing how much richer your life is,
01:07:31
how much richer my life is,
01:07:33
because I'm able to just accept more of myself every day.
01:07:39
That's a beautiful thing to leave off with, Erin.
01:07:42
Thank you.
01:07:44
This was interesting, we went through a whole ride,
01:07:48
and you shared a lot about how it was dealing with
01:07:53
your anxiety, your depression, what you're doing now,
01:07:56
how you're helping people from all over the world,
01:07:59
the things you're involved with,
01:08:01
and is there anything else
01:08:03
that you would like to leave off with before we,
01:08:06
I feel like we can go on forever, but.
01:08:08
Yes, I will say the last thing I would love
01:08:11
to leave people off with is I wanna hear your story.
01:08:15
Whoever you are, I wanna hear your story
01:08:18
because when people share their stories,
01:08:20
the world gets better, but on a selfish note,
01:08:22
I just love stories, I wanna hear them.
01:08:26
Like send me a link to your YouTube,
01:08:29
show me your Instagram, like what's your blog?
01:08:34
I wanna hear them, and I want you to share them.
01:08:36
So if you're looking for permission
01:08:39
to share your life story,
01:08:42
I am officially granting it, listeners.
01:08:44
Share your life, share your story, share your creativity.
01:08:48
There you have it.
01:08:51
Erin, thank you for your time, your words,
01:08:55
your kind heart, and your enthusiastic spirit.
01:08:58
I appreciate it, it was a blast.
01:08:59
This was so much fun, thank you so much.
01:09:03
The power of story, after all,
01:09:07
that's exactly what this podcast is about,
01:09:12
sharing that unique and genuine human experience.
01:09:18
Like Erin said, this is a great way to learn,
01:09:22
grow, and connect with one another.
01:09:24
I really like the fact that she was marching to her own beat,
01:09:29
even at a young age, and used comedy to break barriers.
01:09:34
Plus, the art of storytelling to unite strangers.
01:09:39
She didn't let any labels or stigmas define her.
01:09:44
She broke free in, paved her own way,
01:09:48
making her a giant amongst us.
01:09:52
Now you can find out more about her at storycoaching.com.
01:09:57
She's your go-to when it comes to individual coaching,
01:10:01
group coaching, and even public speaking.
01:10:04
And she's gonna help give you the tools you need
01:10:06
so you can find your voice and use it in any way you deem fit.
01:10:11
Erin was even kind enough to leave worksheets with us.
01:10:14
So the links for those and the rest of her services
01:10:17
can be found in the description box of this episode.
01:10:23
But before we check out,
01:10:25
I'd like to add this for all of our listeners
01:10:28
and to help this show catch on and to grow on organically.
01:10:33
Leave a review and let us know what you like
01:10:36
or even don't like about the show.
01:10:39
That's the only way we can improve it.
01:10:41
And then give us a rating and go share with a friend.
01:10:46
Let me know where and how you're listening to this
01:10:50
so I can shout you out.
01:10:52
And if you wanna be a part of the show
01:10:54
and share your story, shoot me a line via email.
01:10:58
I'd be happy to connect.
01:11:00
Till next time and very soon.
01:11:04
Peace.
01:11:06
Do-do-up, do-up, do-up, do-do-up, do-up, do-up, do-up.
01:11:11
Do-do-up, do-up, do-up, do-up, do-up, do-up, do-up, do-up.
01:11:16
So know I'm on the right road.
01:11:21
And seen no signs.