Real stories, told by real people.
We are back with another one. And right out the gate, hope you're doing just fine. Today Yvette joins us and she's got a story to tell.
Since the age of 9 years old Yvette has struggled with Mental Health. Her childhood was broken up by abuse, and bullying. Being so young, and without any outside support, Yvette talks about the struggles she had with trying to cope with the pain - self harm, cutting, and even suicide attempts. At fourteen years old her mental health and depression seemed to only get worse. Yvette tried therapy, but that was something at the time through no fault of the therapist that didn't work.
We're going to hear how Yvette came to find Therapy in writing. Journaling, and that wonderful tool known as 'writing' to express her emotions, experiences, dreams, passions, and past traumas has been a big part of her recovery. Rising out of a dark hole and inspired to help others by sharing her story, I'd like to welcome another GIANT AMONGST US. A big THANK YOU once again to Yvette for opening up a few pages in her story and sharing it with us.
Yvette also talked about her love for castles, cathedrals and the architecture behind them, the pyramids in Egypt, her plans on visiting Transylvania in the upcoming months, checking out a "smash room", and of course her book Mind, Music, Love, that's almost ready to be published.
Til next time
and very soon,
PEACE!!
IF YOU FOUND VALUE IN THE SHOW, STAMP US WITH A RATING ON YOUR WAY OUT. AND TELL A FRIEND TO TELL A FRIEND.
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More of Giants Amongst Us :
Website : https://giantsamongstus.org/
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Youtube : https://youtube.com/@GiantsAmongstUs?si=1ZUiC8zQNDcIsYKI
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Background music by :
@bnoizemusic
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animals
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against
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you hear me
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Instead of struggling
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after watching your rescue
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Be a member and stay best
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ok
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tasked
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If you could step inside me
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ok
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heard
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Let it hear saw with my eyes, see what self-deception means.
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Now, here's a little story I got to tell.
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Welcome back to the show, everybody.
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I hope you guys are doing good out there.
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I hope you're enjoying some beautiful weather.
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When the sun's out, that you're able to get outside
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and put some of that on your skin.
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This is Giants Among Us where we share
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the unique human experience
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and where you're going to hear real stories
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that are told by real people.
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People just like yourself.
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If this is your first time stumbling across this show,
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what we do here is we get together
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and share connections and experiences in life
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that come from different walks of life.
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And each one of them has had their own fair share of struggles
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and what that looks like sometimes is addiction,
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past childhood trauma, handicaps, fears, anxieties, depression.
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You name it.
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But the underlining theme is that time, that place of points
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when each one of these individuals took it upon themselves
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to start making some changes.
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So this is what it looks like.
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This is what it sounds like.
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And sometimes you'll be able to hear it
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through the expression and the emphasis.
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When these people are sharing their hearts,
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you'll be able to hear what it feels like
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when someone starts taking accountability
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and responsibility for themselves.
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So before we get into the conversation today,
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I just wanted to do a little bit of house cleaning
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and let you all know that there's a new website up
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on a different platform with a couple of cool features intact.
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One of them is the option to leave a review.
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So if you find it within yourself, if you feel moved to,
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you can write a review and let us know how you feel about the show.
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Good or bad, it's all good with us.
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Another cool feature is the voice message option.
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So you can let us know where you're listening from,
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how you're listening to the show, what you think about it,
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anything in particular that struck a chord with you,
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or just say hello.
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It's always great to hear back from you all.
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And for sure, you'll find writings, thoughts, topics,
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subject matter, things that weigh in my heart
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on that website as well.
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So you guys feel free and let me know what you think.
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With that out of the way, I'd like to introduce you all to Yvette
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because she's got a story to tell.
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Not really. I felt like there weren't gonna believe us.
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But when one particular thing happened,
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it got caught and then I've never seen him since.
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I was very sad when I was 9, 10,
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but it turned more to suicide when I was 14 onwards.
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It just seemed to develop worse.
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And it took an overdose when I was about 20.
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Ladies and gentlemen, without further ado,
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this is Yvette and her story.
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Welcome back to the show.
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This is Giants Amongst Us,
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where we share in the unique human experience.
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And I'm happy to have a sit down.
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And I'd like to welcome Yvette to the show.
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So thank you very much for taking time out of your day.
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Appreciate it. How's it going?
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Hi, I'm great. Thank you.
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Nice to be here.
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Good to have you.
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Just to kick this thing off,
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and for starters, you might be sharing with us
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a little bit about where you come from
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and how it was for you growing up.
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Yeah, sure.
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Well, I live in England from South Shields,
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and I'm currently writing a book called Mind, Music and Love.
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And it's hopefully going to help at least one person out there
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who is suffering from mental health issues
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and try and help them live the best life they can.
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Yeah, that's the main topic then.
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The overall arching theme is mental health.
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Yeah, and there's a lot of music in there as well,
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because there's people out there, famous people,
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and not so famous people out there
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just expressing their feelings through the music
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and trying to help people through it
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and help them dance and sing the night away
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and try and forget the blues.
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Has that something that you've struggled with
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for a long time or most of your time is mental health?
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Yeah, since the age of nine.
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Since the age of nine.
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I don't know if that's a good idea,
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but I don't know if that's a good idea,
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because something happened to me,
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but I don't want to really go into that.
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I might go into it to do a sequel of the book.
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Yeah, that's understandable.
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Every time I connect with somebody,
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I always bring it up, and I like to emphasize it,
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that these are personal journeys from different backgrounds,
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different struggles, different challenges,
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and some of these things that are talked about are personal.
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They're very intimate.
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They're speaking with whether they want to talk about
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what they want to talk about.
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We had a conversation prior to this,
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and so now we're setting up a little talk
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so you can share some of your journey.
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But you said from the early age of nine years old,
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so this is something that affected you at nine.
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So how about when you were going to school
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and dealing with these things internally,
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these emotions psychologically, emotionally,
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like how did that affect you throughout your school years?
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I'm pretty bad, really, because I also got bullied at school,
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as well, so I had to deal with that, as well.
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I had a couple of good friends,
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but most of them were just horrible and were bullies to me,
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so I had that on top of it.
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To be honest with you, I used to self-harm from the age of 10,
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but now that I'm old enough, I get tattoos instead.
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It's like when someone homes for themselves, I go for a tattoo instead.
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So instead of having scars and feel sad looking at them,
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instead you can look at something beautiful,
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a piece of art or something beautiful to you personally.
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Ah, so you kind of flipped it in a way.
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I guess you're still getting that...
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because there's a pain, there's a rush that goes with getting tattoo,
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getting that needle pressed deep into your flesh,
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but then you're afterwards seeing some kind of finished product.
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It can be an artistic expression that you have,
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and now it's your body as a canvas to express that.
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Yeah, exactly.
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During those years, when you were in school, did you...
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you talked about you had a few friends,
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but the majority were just bullies, and it wasn't really working out.
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But did you have anybody around you, family, anyone,
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that you were able to confide in or talk to or look to
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for some kind of support?
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Not really.
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I felt like there weren't gonna believe us,
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but when one particular thing happened,
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you got caught, and then I never seen him since.
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So I think you might have got, like, pulled away or something,
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or he moved away.
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I think my mom come after us and said,
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what happened?
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And like, I told her a bit, and then nothing was said since
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because I was really upset about it,
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but I never saw him again after that.
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In a way, it sounds like nine, ten years old,
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you have certain things happen to you,
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you're going through these traumatic events,
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but there was really nobody to look to, to turn to for help,
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and it sounds like you were alone in that situation
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and during that time.
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Yeah, I was.
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Well, actually, one was there, not quite a friend,
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but you heard something,
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and then she told the teacher about it,
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and then I spoke to the teacher about it,
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and I think that's when I never seen him again.
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So it might have been the teacher that told them about it.
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And when you, itself, harm, was that like the only way
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that you can relieve some of the stress of the tension
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that you were doing?
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It's like the pain that you have inside it,
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when you do that, it reaches the surface,
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so people can see the pain that you're going through.
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We had things, I used nettles, like rose thorns,
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and then I used to play with me cat and use the scratchers, lords.
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That's the way I used to do it.
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When you were going through this and then throughout the years
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as it progressed, and did you, throughout that time,
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try to seek professional help or reach out again to people,
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just if you can have some support?
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I did.
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I saw a therapist, but I thought,
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it didn't really help.
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When I come out, I felt worse than I actually did
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when I first went in.
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And now that I'm doing this book, it's like my own self-therapy,
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really, it's like getting things out on the paper, myself.
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And then if I'm trying to help at least one person out there,
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I'd feel like I've accomplished something in my life.
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That's right.
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Yeah, you've got a sense of purpose
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and meaning behind this book.
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When you would speak to the therapist,
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what do you think for you made you feel worse off than before,
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like after leaving the office?
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When I told them about what happened,
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it was just like it would all come back as if it was happening
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then and then.
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It would all, the memories would come back and it would flash
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and remind us if it was happening now.
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So it was awful.
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And it wasn't just the therapist.
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The therapist was nice.
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It was just, I just couldn't deal with it.
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But when I'm writing out on paper, I don't visualise it.
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As badly as I did when I was talking to that therapist.
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I don't know if that really makes sense, but.
00:10:18
It sounds like it takes a little bit of the sting away,
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you know, the steam off of it when you write it down,
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rather than voicing it, talking about it.
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And it really brings it to life as if you're back there
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at that time going through it all over again.
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Like after that didn't work out.
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How did you stumble across writing and started a bit like a diary
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where I would just tell it to be feelings and stuff.
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And then it just, the more I wrote, the more it turned into a book really.
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In fact, I've got not just the emails I sent to myself as notes,
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as I said earlier before this, I've got diaries as well that I could
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probably put into the book.
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And that will probably take us past the 333 pages I was originally
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going to go through.
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So I might end up having a sequel to it.
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When can you trace it back to when it started for at least you starting
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the journal and write it to piece everything together to form the
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book that you are working on right now.
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I only really started it a little bit in 2020 when the COVID thing started.
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I did it a bit then.
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And I did do a little bit before when we first born was a baby.
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So that was 2000 when I started to write the little bit.
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And then I lost a load of it through to a controlling boyfriend at the time.
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I had written it down on paper and on a laptop, which took a lot of time.
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And he's just burnt it all including the laptop.
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Wow. So up until then, because this is pretty recent, 2020.
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It's only a few years back, well four years to be exact.
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But for that, the majority of the time prior to that, because a therapist
00:12:04
didn't work, but you were still struggling with all of this trauma in your life.
00:12:11
On top of that, it was being bullied in a controlling relationship or getting
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hit in the relationship as well.
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I lost a baby through one of them, but it's probably a good thing because if I
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had the baby, you might have tried to be in contact.
00:12:26
Yeah. You go through that, especially when you're going through something and
00:12:30
let's just say you try to voice out your concerns to somebody.
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You turn to someone who you think may help you and you end up getting the door
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shut on you.
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So then you can lose faith in humanity.
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Maybe you can lose trust in people.
00:12:46
That was like a blessing in the skies then.
00:12:48
You writing down, you just having the urge to journal your thoughts, your emotions.
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And then that turned into something that you found to be very therapeutic
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outside of going to visit a therapist in the office and tell him or her how you
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feel, why you feel like this.
00:13:07
Yeah.
00:13:08
Just you wanting to do this podcast in itself.
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I commend you and I have to give you respect for that because that also takes
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courage.
00:13:17
Yeah, because who wants to?
00:13:18
We're so used to people just wanting to share their highlight reel.
00:13:22
You go online, everybody sharing their highlight reel, what they're doing, where
00:13:26
they're traveling, everything.
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But who wants to talk about the, you know, some of their mistakes and failures,
00:13:32
but we can all learn from each other when it comes to that.
00:13:34
A lot of athletes, though, the ones that are trying to step up their game and
00:13:40
whatever they're doing, whatever they're involved in, they look at the tape
00:13:43
afterwards to see where they messed up and how they can make corrections to get
00:13:46
better next time around.
00:13:47
And in a way, this is kind of what we're doing when we talk about and share
00:13:51
some of our struggles, where we messed up, what failed, and how somebody was able
00:13:55
to make corrections and how they were able to find some hope and then get a
00:13:59
little bit of purpose and meaning back into their life.
00:14:02
Exactly.
00:14:03
It's just like that for me.
00:14:05
Yeah.
00:14:06
It's been a long time coming.
00:14:07
So you pretty much since 2020, would you write sporadically whenever you felt the
00:14:13
urge or you just were setting yourself every day, giving yourself time to go
00:14:18
ahead and just write down these thoughts, emotions, feelings, past experiences?
00:14:24
Yeah, I would.
00:14:26
Sometimes I would write it in a note in my phone and send it as an email to
00:14:30
myself to add it into my book later, which I've got a lot of them sent to
00:14:34
myself.
00:14:35
So I'm going to do that at some point today, actually, go through them and add
00:14:39
them to the book just to see how curiously, how many pages I come up with just
00:14:44
from my notes.
00:14:45
Have you found any way that you want to go about publishing it once it's done or
00:14:50
first things first, you want to go ahead and just make sure that everything is
00:14:54
formatted the way you want it to be formatted and then you'll deal with all
00:14:58
that later on.
00:14:59
Yeah.
00:15:00
I'm sure you've told me that you can do it too.
00:15:03
Amazon now, can you?
00:15:04
Yeah, Amazon, they have the self-publishing option.
00:15:07
There's a few people that I've talked to that are doing it that way.
00:15:11
Yeah, because I haven't really got the money for an edit and the publisher and
00:15:16
what have you.
00:15:17
Is that going to be expensive?
00:15:18
And the number is going to be 333.
00:15:20
Hopefully.
00:15:21
And it's like that number for some reason.
00:15:25
So for you, for you, the main things that have helped out because you, the title
00:15:30
of the book is Mind Music, what was it?
00:15:33
Mind Music Love?
00:15:34
Yeah, that's right.
00:15:35
Mind Music Love.
00:15:36
Mind Music Love, okay, so then also along with writing, music has been something
00:15:42
that has soothed your soul a bit.
00:15:45
Yeah, definitely.
00:15:46
That's got a lot to do with my book because all these famous people have been
00:15:50
putting all their words into the song, the train, you know, trying to express their
00:15:56
feelings that way and then make people stance and sing and forget about their blues.
00:16:02
Yeah.
00:16:03
And you said that one of the main things that would be satisfying and gratifying for you
00:16:07
is if you were to have somebody read your book and it would help them in any kind of
00:16:11
way.
00:16:12
Oh, definitely.
00:16:13
I'd feel like I've achieved something out of life even if it was just that one person.
00:16:16
You probably discussed times in your life when depression was there or anxiety or just
00:16:24
a self-worth and so somebody coming across those pages and to read those struggles and
00:16:29
those experiences.
00:16:30
Do you feel that it might be able to give them hope in whatever their situation is if they're
00:16:37
going through something similar?
00:16:39
Yeah, hopefully.
00:16:40
I mean, when it happened when I was young, I didn't even know what that was.
00:16:43
I didn't know it was depression or anxiety or anything like that because it's a pretty
00:16:49
new thing really.
00:16:50
Mental health's only really just arise now.
00:16:53
Like people are trying to make people aware of it.
00:16:56
Did you feel any time like life is meaningless?
00:17:00
Yeah, I did kind of think that.
00:17:02
A little bit.
00:17:03
I was very sad when I was nine, 10, but it turned more to suicide when I was 14 onwards.
00:17:11
It just seemed to develop worse.
00:17:14
And I took an overdose when I was about 20 and I was about one and I've gone to hospital
00:17:21
through it.
00:17:22
I went to the hospital a few times after that as well, end up in hospital.
00:17:26
And one time I cut me wrist and I've got a scar there now, which I've covered up with
00:17:31
a tattoo.
00:17:32
I don't know if I mentioned that on here before.
00:17:34
Yeah.
00:17:35
Was there anything that brought a little bit of hope and inspiration back into you?
00:17:41
Yeah, I was writing books that were made up as well, younger.
00:17:46
Okay.
00:17:47
And I used to just write in a diary about the truth that happened, but I didn't really
00:17:51
want to write that into a book until now because of self therapy.
00:17:56
That's always the force behind how a lot of people are able to get through whatever they're
00:18:01
getting through or to even just turn a corner in their life if they're going through something
00:18:06
that is traumatic, something that is just draining the life out of them.
00:18:11
But if they feel like there's a meaning behind it, a purpose to it, it can be a loved one.
00:18:16
It's somebody in their life that they want to either make proud or there's something
00:18:23
that they would like to accomplish or a goal or a task or a project.
00:18:27
And in this case, you have this book on mind, you've wrote and you said fiction.
00:18:31
This is going to be nonfiction.
00:18:33
This is your memoir in a way.
00:18:35
But with that, the goal or the inspiration or something that would be like a great after
00:18:40
effect of it is if it can impact somebody and help somebody else.
00:18:43
So they don't, you know, it may be save them some of the trouble that you went through in your life.
00:18:49
Yeah, and maybe stop themselves from killing themselves or what have you.
00:18:53
I mean, it's a condition so many people can relate to and I'm trying to help those who are suffering from mental health.
00:18:59
Is that true?
00:19:00
Believe it can't be cured.
00:19:01
It's like a beauty of the mind.
00:19:03
Nobody really knows what you're thinking.
00:19:05
The mind even looks like a labyrinth.
00:19:07
So many twists and turns.
00:19:09
Sometimes it's good for us to not know what you're thinking, especially if you don't like that person.
00:19:16
I'm hoping people after this book to try and keep their monster inside hidden in their box and some part of their minds.
00:19:24
You mean rather than to like last shout on society or to harm themselves or someone else because of the rage and that's what you tend to do.
00:19:33
You tend to take out on the love lawn.
00:19:35
Don't you?
00:19:36
It's like what I'm saying about the music part as well.
00:19:39
It's the music.
00:19:40
It has so much power.
00:19:42
It goes so back in history.
00:19:45
So many different cultures, different types of music, sounds, instruments.
00:19:50
Nobody could really say who is your favorite band as there's so many songs out there.
00:19:55
Some even without words to those who can like imagine their own words.
00:19:59
With music, you know, it has the power to influence you and the power of music, how you can, how you say it can make you happy.
00:20:07
It can put you in a good place, but then also it can put you in a dark, dark spot.
00:20:12
I like Disney and Slipknot really.
00:20:15
Big difference.
00:20:17
Like sometimes I could be just cleaning in and singing along the snow white and then the next minute rage and enlistment the Slipknot or rage against the machine.
00:20:26
Yeah. Do you feel like you just want to start smashing some things?
00:20:30
Yeah, definitely.
00:20:33
I like the sound of that idea of that place.
00:20:35
I would tell us about where you go to a place and you just smash things to make you feel better.
00:20:41
I hope to do that in England somewhere.
00:20:43
I'm sure they do.
00:20:44
They have to.
00:20:45
And I can't remember exactly what part of the world.
00:20:49
I don't know if it was in the US or it might have been somewhere in Europe, but they have to.
00:20:53
I'm sure that that idea caught on in.
00:20:56
I know it was in the US somewhere because it was a film I was watching.
00:21:00
I think it was something about housewives and then the money laundering and stuff.
00:21:05
And then she went to this place and she just smashed some stuff and that made me feel much better.
00:21:11
You can probably look up the smash room.
00:21:13
But if I do come across something like that, I'm going to, I'll send that to you, but they have to.
00:21:19
I'm sure they have to have some something like that or similar in your area.
00:21:24
Yeah, the most have.
00:21:25
I'm going to call it now.
00:21:27
Yeah, there's other, there's other people, they go to a gym for that, you know, they, or they, they just buy themselves a punching bag.
00:21:35
Oh, getting there's one at Newcastle.
00:21:39
And it opens at 12 p.m.
00:21:41
It's called Smash Space UK at Newcastle.
00:21:45
How far is that?
00:21:46
Newcastle, that's not far from me at all. About 20 minutes on the go.
00:21:50
Oh, cool.
00:21:51
Yeah, I wonder, I wonder how that works out if they give you 15 minutes, 20 minutes, you know, you pay, I'm sure you pay for the time.
00:21:58
Strictly aged 18.
00:22:00
Let's see.
00:22:02
They give you a hockey stick.
00:22:07
A hockey stick and they got TVs there and you just smash them.
00:22:11
I'll be swinging on that tire.
00:22:14
Sounds about right.
00:22:16
So with you and your life right now, you know, everything that you've been through the ups, downs, the struggles, the hurts, the pains, the figuring out what works for you, what doesn't work for you, what helps you and how do you feel you are these days?
00:22:30
Better now, I'm writing this book and I'm getting divorced from somebody who's controlling.
00:22:37
I don't, I just now want to travel the world. I want to go to Transylvania. I think we said this offline that yeah, we're going to go to Transylvania and you said it was a middle place for vampires and I thought that too.
00:22:54
But it's actually real. There is a real vampire out there.
00:22:58
You said that it's been a long time. I think you were five since the last time you traveled abroad.
00:23:03
Yeah, I was five years old. I went to Paris and all I really remember was these little lizards and then I was looking at this necklace and my mum got this one with the name Yvette on it.
00:23:14
And from the age of, I don't know, 10, I thought, what is that? Am I really, do I really belong to my mum and dad because all I remember was going in front and looking at this thing.
00:23:26
It leads to necklaces and then my mum coming in going, there you are. And I didn't even know who she was.
00:23:31
Oh, wow.
00:23:33
I was adopted for a little bit.
00:23:37
Since it's been so long. I mean, that's pretty much you've traveled. That was one time in your life, you know, in all your adult years.
00:23:44
Was there a reason you picked Transylvania of all places?
00:23:47
No, just it's, it's, I was like vampire films and stuff like that. And I love history. I love castles or all these gothic buildings.
00:23:57
I just love stuff like that. So I thought, oh, this sounds amazing because I do travel a lot around in England and I visit all the castles and stuff.
00:24:05
But I think I've visited all of them in England now. So I would like to go somewhere else in a different country.
00:24:11
Cool. Yeah. And so that's the new, new thing that you're embarking on these days as you, as you have settled into your adult years later on in life.
00:24:20
You said after the divorce and this is something you want to start to do more of is travel.
00:24:25
Yeah, definitely. I want to see the world. I might even move away. Yeah, I would love to do that.
00:24:32
If you had anywhere that you'd be able to move to, do you have some place right off the top of your head? You can say I'd go there.
00:24:40
I would love to live in Dracula's castle to be honest.
00:24:43
I was just going to say, is it going to be Transylvania?
00:24:47
Maybe if I like it, maybe. Yeah. Because that would be cool if I live there and then as a job, a clean Dracula's castle.
00:24:58
Oh my word. That would be a dream.
00:25:02
Or you can even, because you say you love history and you're really into that type of history, you could even just start your own tour guides.
00:25:10
That would be amazing. Yeah. Because I would visit it if you'd take it. And I would get a lot of info about it.
00:25:21
So like when people ask questions, I'll just tell them off the top of my head.
00:25:25
Is there a reason, anything in particular that makes you want to pick up and leave and change locations?
00:25:32
Yeah, maybe just start again, start my life again really.
00:25:35
I might have to wait until my teenage is old enough because there's only 14 at the minute and I might not be happy moving that far away.
00:25:43
I know I wasn't when we had to move about just in this country.
00:25:46
So it'd be scary moving to another country for different languages and everything.
00:25:50
I don't think I want to put that through that.
00:25:52
So I'd probably wait a year. Yeah.
00:25:55
And then once I've got my own place and my own job, I'll just come back and visit that kind of thing.
00:26:02
And yeah, I guess if you really have, if it's there in particular or just anywhere else, that gives you time to kind of do a little bit of homework and some research to see where you, if you do want to pick up, replant and stake your flag somewhere else.
00:26:19
Yeah, second place would probably be somewhere in America or Canada. I like the look of that place. That looks really nice.
00:26:28
And for sure you're going to visit Transylvania this year by the end of this year.
00:26:33
Yeah, August I'm hoping that can't really go in the school. I'm just waiting for an email from this pretty holiday place.
00:26:41
But to be honest, I think it'll be better just doing it quick on myself.
00:26:45
So I looked it up myself and it was £299 for three nights for the flights there and back accommodation and tour of the castle.
00:26:54
So I'm just going to do that. I get features this month as well, like an extra £500. So that can go towards the holiday.
00:27:05
Speaking of writing a book and everything like that, this is going to be the part of your new chapter in life is traveling a bit, experiencing life in different places.
00:27:14
Yeah, like what the famous here on YouTube, I can't remember his name, but he says, live your extra life with her, but I'm going to live my extra life with life.
00:27:24
There's nothing wrong with that. There's a lot to see, lots to experience, lots to enjoy.
00:27:30
I think I told you this offline, but it's just too silly not to mention it, but I went there notting him this weekend and I was supposed to stay there last night, but I booked the wrong date.
00:27:44
So I had to just come back. I was so silly. And then a few weeks back as well, I booked somewhere which was about 10 miles away from the festival I was going to.
00:27:55
I missed that festival. I was good at it, but instead I just looked around and visited a castle instead. I think that was a long time.
00:28:06
Yeah, I'm a bit deft sometimes.
00:28:09
It's safe to say that you really do enjoy checking out castles.
00:28:14
Yeah, I do. I love them in priorities and stuff like that. Even churches because they're quite old buildings as well, aren't they?
00:28:21
Yeah, they are. Yeah, and some of them, man, they put a lot of money, time and architectural design and those things look exquisite from the outside.
00:28:35
Then you walk inside and how high the ceilings are and the windows and all of the artwork.
00:28:41
The best one I've ever been to was Cardiff Castle. I spent about six or seven hours just looking around the castle.
00:28:53
Did you?
00:28:54
Yeah, I just took loads of photos. It was amazing. And just stuff like that amazes me, honestly.
00:29:00
I mean, that's another place I like to live, actually. Egypt, you know, all these pyramids. The Khan make them now, but they've got so many more different like machines to help them.
00:29:12
But the Khan do it the way they did back then. What was the secret? What did they use? Was it slave because of slavery? And it was constantly at?
00:29:23
Yeah. Yeah, those are those are really a draw. People are fascinated by the pyramids from all over like South America, Egypt.
00:29:31
We're still even now digging, digging around to get clues of how they did it as well.
00:29:37
And if you come across some weird skeletons and that and people were different.
00:29:42
What's the right word without sounding awful? Like humans go regular human school.
00:29:51
Maybe why they got the theory from from aliens and stuff, but there was no health and safety that back then they would just work and work and work until the died.
00:30:01
Imagine back in the day when they had the the children gold mining or working in the oil fields and they were they had the children they were like four or five.
00:30:11
You see pictures old black and white pictures of kids. They couldn't be older than five, six and they were gold mining because they were so small and able to fit in those small holes in the get in places that are an average grown adult can can get into and fit inside.
00:30:29
And so what do we do? Let's let the kids do it.
00:30:32
Honestly, it's crazy.
00:30:34
Actually, I'm near me. I go mine like that where they had little ones and they put little kids through. It's still in now.
00:30:42
In fact, I will do is I will walk there later on today and I'll send you a few photos and that's by you in your area.
00:30:49
Yeah. Yeah.
00:30:50
Yeah. Even in California, like we visited my wife and I going driving to Las Vegas.
00:30:56
There's old from from LA going to Las Vegas in between you have places like Calico ghost town and there's a lot of areas because that was also a place known for the gold rush during the one with it.
00:31:08
I don't know the early 1900s or so when they were doing that.
00:31:11
And so you had even working the oil fields and stuff.
00:31:14
You see those old pictures black and whites with these kids that are they're filthy. They look they're on what you look at them and they look like grown men because they're so worn and torn.
00:31:25
But you look in their children no more than five, six years old and they're doing the work in labor of a grown adult.
00:31:32
You ought to get that gold.
00:31:34
Yeah.
00:31:35
What we have to do to stop that from happening like all the rebel rebel against people and saying stop, stop all this stop slavery and stop.
00:31:46
I had a go so much and even the suffragettes as well, you know what they had to go through just for women to vote and have women to have rights.
00:31:56
A lot, a lot of history from like you were mentioning back to the the Egyptian days to modern times from how you were talking about the traveling experience and wanting to see a little bit of the world now that you're you're going through the divorce and where you're at these
00:32:15
days going through the things that you've been through the things that are that are unique to you and they've kind of in a way shaped formed and impacted you and nowadays in your adult years and you you have this this outlet that you're able to write and you're able to sort out some of those emotions
00:32:35
and feelings and and I put them on paper and for you that's therapy and then also the hopes that it can it can impact and help somebody else.
00:32:47
There's a bit of promise and and better days for you it sounds like nowadays compared to where you were, you know, in the past.
00:32:56
And I feel like I've gone through that for a reason like as awful as it was, or maybe I was meant to go through that to be where I am now and to sacrifice myself and in my childhood ways just to help to help other people in the future.
00:33:15
Maybe that's powerful right there, you know, because that you going through that you're seeing it as a reason and a purpose like it's building me and molding me into someone who is going through that.
00:33:25
And I'm not going to be in a good position or in a better place to help somebody that's to be an example or something that they could look up to and say wow, I've they they've been through that.
00:33:38
I'm going through it so I also can do better for myself.
00:33:42
I also am someone to be loved or I'm someone that is capable of doing something something that is meaningful for my life.
00:33:50
I think I asked you this I don't know if I did but because you mentioned that for therapy after you wrote it.
00:33:57
I or not therapy after you wrote it but for therapy after you you finished the session you just felt worse off.
00:34:03
We did before.
00:34:04
Oh yes, about that online offline sorry so yeah, I went to a therapist therapist was lovely really really nice to talk to.
00:34:14
But when I asked this question what I've gone through to me is feel like I've got depression and stuff.
00:34:20
I just felt like I was living the moment all over again and it would visualize and I would feel like it was happening right now.
00:34:28
So I would leave worse off than I did but when I'm writing it in my book, I don't visualize it like that.
00:34:36
It's strange but that's where it's been going because it was just me that didn't get as upset as I did when I was in front of somebody.
00:34:46
I don't know.
00:34:47
How about when you're when you're writing the pages and and say you finished for the day you don't feel that that draining or oh my god that was a lot that took a lot out of me or man that was tough to.
00:34:58
Sometimes sometimes I did yes and sometimes I would cry.
00:35:05
That's some heavy stuff then you're taking people through and you're you're opening up a piece of your your book and your story and sharing with others by right well for you right now you're writing it it's a personal journey and experience but you want to eventually make it available for the public and anybody else who's interested.
00:35:24
Yeah, definitely.
00:35:26
And I'm a little self-node for when you are feeling down like that right down even if you burn it afterwards or shred it whatever you want to do just burn it get it out write it down and get it out there if you've got nobody to talk to write it down it will make you feel better.
00:35:46
Yeah, that was your message.
00:35:47
That's what you said right you said it even if you're going to write it and destroy it afterwards but just to put it out.
00:35:53
Even if you write it down somewhere because if you haven't got anybody you've always got a piece of paper on your phone everybody's got a phone and just write them your notes or something if you want to and if you wanted to keep it send it to yourself on the email and go back to it you could even write your own book if you want to write it in songs even.
00:36:15
Write it in songs make some music poetry like you pointing that out to me really brought it brought it home but yeah even if you feel like you're alone but I but I'm alone I have nobody to talk to have nobody to listen to sometimes we don't even want someone to talk back we just want to feel like someone is listening to us so you don't you just need to have someone
00:36:36
across like a open ear that's listening to you just share your your feelings and even if you don't have that like you said you can still write it on a piece of paper and whatever you believe in you think it's the universe you think it's one creator up and you know whoever your God is a
00:36:57
universe the energy the all-encompassing love that surrounds us but that is going to be there and that's going to be your company and you can go ahead and write it and put it in either you keep it for yourself or like you said you could just destroy it burn it
00:37:12
rip it up throw it in the trash but it's out.
00:37:15
Exactly.
00:37:16
Even if you're totally animals or Satan.
00:37:20
You have any you have any pets.
00:37:22
And a little a few fish. I did have a bird but I'm wonder because I didn't really have time with her but he's happy and he's been dancing he's been doing a little Stevie Wonder and he had bangs to AC, DC and except and Bohemian rapsody.
00:37:36
What kind of bird was it?
00:37:38
It was a conyal.
00:37:39
And that's funny they do that don't they?
00:37:41
You can teach them and teach them to do that. Buggies are a nightmare to do that. Canaries and zepperafin to kind of do that with but yeah Buggies from a Buggie to a conyal cockatiel they'll all do dancing and singing and stuff swearing if you want them to.
00:37:58
Would you ever let the bird out the cage?
00:38:01
Yeah.
00:38:02
And it could even let them out.
00:38:04
If you've trained them well enough you could even let them outside and they will come back to you.
00:38:09
Wow did you get that far with it?
00:38:11
No. I was a bit nervous about that but he did fly out taking out a guard once but he come back to us.
00:38:18
So maybe it would have been alright.
00:38:20
Yeah I remember had a friend it was funny because he had a bird it was a parrot. I think he had two of them but sometimes he just let the and this brother used to get so mad at him when he did it but sometimes he would just let the bird out the cage and these birds are just flying all over the house flapping their wings.
00:38:38
Their feathers going all over the place and I didn't know how to react to it. I'm like ducking under the table. I don't know if I'm going to get clawed or the beak is going to come down and poke me in the eyes.
00:38:50
It was funny to me he just let it out the cage and then it would take him forever and a day to try to grab the birds and bring them back in the cage but he just let them air out sometimes.
00:39:02
Sometimes it would land on my head and I would put my head inside the cage.
00:39:07
Oh and then just push him back in. So now just two cats in a dog.
00:39:13
Yeah and a couple of fish.
00:39:15
Okay that's enough.
00:39:16
Well next month I might get another dog. I don't know. It's a friend from Muffin. I've called me dog Muffin and if I get another one I'm going to call a cupcake.
00:39:28
So that's life these days. We're all on our own path and that's really the essence of the show is connecting with people and listening to them detail and hash out some of their journey, life's path and how they were able to manage their way and navigate their way through and how they're still working at whatever it is that they feel that they need to work through.
00:39:58
And work with and deal with in their life because we're all still works in progress.
00:40:03
Yeah I mean I told about you through, oh what's his name? Fry. Fry.
00:40:11
He's like Joe Satriani spawned from. He's really really good. I heard a story from DeAngelo as well.
00:40:19
Yeah that wasn't too long ago. That makes me happy too that the word gets around like that and that the information gets passed along and then people who like say for instance someone who may have never heard of the show while there's a, it's still, this in itself is still a work in progress and something that I'm still working at and something I enjoy doing but it's always great to hear that.
00:40:44
Oh yeah the word gets passed around and yeah did you hear so and so and so through Fry you were able to you know able to come across the show and listen to a couple episodes and then bam here we are.
00:40:57
Yeah.
00:40:58
Having a little conversation of our own and you sharing some of your life's journey where you were at, where you're at now and then where you hope to be later on down the road.
00:41:10
Yeah exactly and it's been good. Very good.
00:41:13
We had a good conversation and it was great to hear, despite everything that you've been through you're doing you're doing a lot better for yourself right now and then you even have a lot of things that you're looking forward to accomplish and to involve yourself with later on.
00:41:29
How about any, any final words or any things you'd like to leave off with and share with anybody listening anyone that comes across this.
00:41:36
Yeah just write it down, burn it, shred it, whatever you want to do afterwards or keep it for yourself write it in an email if you want to go back to it.
00:41:45
Write the book yourself if you want to or write music.
00:41:49
Yes I think to me when I was writing it down in the book or diary it was very therapeutic to myself.
00:41:57
I felt like I could get it all out and I felt better letting it out into my book.
00:42:03
Absolutely and if you're thinking about it you can always go check for a smash room in the area.
00:42:11
Yes a smash room and I've just found out there's one in the AMA so I will be going there very soon.
00:42:18
Yeah Yvette thank you so much for your time I know you're a busy woman you have a tight schedule and you're doing a lot of things and appreciate your time, appreciate your words and you sharing a bit of your story.
00:42:34
Opening up your life's book and sharing some of those pages with us appreciated.
00:42:39
All the best to you, yours and your projects.
00:42:42
Thank you very much.
00:42:44
I hope you guys enjoyed the conversation thanks for sticking around and a big thank you once again to Yvette for taking time out of her day to spend with us and talking story sharing with us what's helped you along the way and dealing with the depression and dealing with the traumatic events in your life and that's been the writing.
00:43:08
It's good to hear that you're in a better place from being bullied and having nobody around for support feeling alone and feeling helpless.
00:43:18
Yvette was a child that was hurting but it was through writing where she found some type of relief.
00:43:26
Indeed writing about traumatic experiences or stressful things going on in our lives it's been shown to help. It really does have a therapeutic effect. The self harming and abusive relationships those are things of the past Yvette she's moving on now.
00:43:44
She's got her own project working on publishing a book 333 pages give or take about her life's experiences in hopes that it might help someone else who's going through their own pain and going through their own struggles.
00:44:00
She said the best I feel in a way I went through all that I did so that I can help others going through something similar in that that's not playing the victim but rising above it and it's a prime example of that old saying it's not what happens to you in life but how you react to it that makes all the difference.
00:44:23
Yvette my best regards to you and yours keep striving for higher grounds enjoy those new sights those new sounds and traveling abroad creating new experiences they're yours to have you are a giant amongst us.
00:44:40
And as always a big thank you to everybody tuned in those of you returning those of you listening for the very first time appreciate you all if you found anything of value you can share it with a friend be sure to check out the website.
00:44:56
The information is in the show notes you guys let's continue moving forward evolving growing maturing as human beings getting in touch with ourselves being true to ourselves allowing ourselves that time and that space to look inward and find those riches the resources that are available that are untapped like that old saying the kingdom of heaven is within.
00:45:25
Then so when you have the opportunity make it a point get out in nature get away from the buzz get away from that chatter and get away from everything that's sucking and draining the life force from you get back in touch with nature take a walk see what it does for you see how you feel after that and get back in touch with yourself.
00:45:48
I'm over here trying to do the same thing that we're going to catch up and connect and do this again real soon you guys be safe out there you guys be saying out there and as the day slowly bends in on this side of town I want to remind you all that if you would like to be a part of the show and share your story.
00:46:14
Or even a story of someone in your life that has impacted you in a positive way.
00:46:19
You can always reach out to me via email.
00:46:23
I'd be happy to connect until next time and very soon.
00:46:29
Peace.