Real stories, told by real people.
[This is part 1 of an hour conversation]
Today, Mindy Li joins us to share her unique story and journey toward overcoming Shaken Baby Syndrome. Shook unconscious at 4 months old, Mindy suffered internal brain bleeding. Her parents were told by the operating doctor there was a slim to none chance of her surviving, and if she did, she'd be brain dead. Well, she's here with us, ALIVE and a proven testament to what faith in oneself and the support of loved ones can do for a person. Despite the brain damage and trauma, and being partly paralyzed with impaired vision, as well as other disabilities she's had to endure, Mindy is thankful, hopeful, and truly an UNBREAKABLE and UNSHAKEABLE spirit.
Her mission "I didn't have the support, the resources, or the help to understand what happened to me. I want to build a community where we can find each other, connect, and be the beautiful people we are."
‘Til next time,
and very soon,
PEACE!!
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To connect with Mindy and help grow a community together visit : https://www.unbreakableunshakeable.com/
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Background music by : @bnoizemusic
00:00:00
This is Giants Among Us.
00:00:04
Now, here's a little story I got to tell.
00:00:07
I'm happy to finally introduce our first guest.
00:00:23
This was an hour conversation that I split up into two parts.
00:00:28
I had the privilege of meeting a cheerful, positive, and upbeat young lady.
00:00:34
Her name's Mindy Lee, and her story's unique.
00:00:38
According to doctors, she wasn't even supposed to be an able and functioning body.
00:00:45
Well, that was proven wrong.
00:00:48
Mindy, she was kind enough to sit down with us to share her struggles and her fears,
00:00:54
but also to give encouragement and to be a testimony of what faith in oneself
00:01:01
and the support of loved ones can do for a person.
00:01:05
So without further ado, this is Mindy's story in her own words.
00:01:14
Mindy Lee, thank you so much for joining me and wanting to be a part of this and share your story.
00:01:20
I do appreciate it.
00:01:22
Thank you very much.
00:01:23
Thank you for having me on, Richard.
00:01:25
I'm looking for some great conversation today.
00:01:28
Right on.
00:01:29
Right on.
00:01:30
So tell us a little bit of your background, where you come from,
00:01:34
and some of your family upbringing, how you grew up.
00:01:37
Yeah.
00:01:38
So I'm 25 years old.
00:01:40
I currently reside in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and I have grown up with my mom.
00:01:47
She's a single mom, and I have an older brother who's 13 years older than I am,
00:01:52
and he's married and has his own life in Virginia.
00:01:56
And yeah, so my mom is a single mom.
00:02:00
My dad actually passed when I was very young, around four or five years old.
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So I didn't really get to know him as a person.
00:02:08
So I think that affected me in a lot of ways.
00:02:12
But I mean, I'm very close with my family.
00:02:15
We all get along very well.
00:02:16
And they played a huge role in supporting me and helping me get through what I went through as a child.
00:02:24
Yeah, do you still keep in good contact with your brother in Virginia?
00:02:29
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:02:30
We actually try to talk every single week.
00:02:33
And he just recently had a baby, and my nephew is like my favorite thing in the world right now.
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He just turned one, and he's like learning all these new things in the world.
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And it's great to see him try to tackle and learn and just figure out how to do everything.
00:02:52
And a single mother.
00:02:53
Yeah, my dad passed of cancer.
00:02:56
It was unfortunate, but I mean, we got through it.
00:03:00
She never remarried or?
00:03:02
No, no, she never found someone who fit the bill, I guess.
00:03:07
And so, and growing up in your situation is interesting, and we were talking a little bit about about it offline.
00:03:14
And it's something that some people may know of, but not too familiar with it, maybe even just the severity of it.
00:03:21
And this is shaking baby syndrome.
00:03:24
Yeah, so for those of you who don't know, shaking baby syndrome is a condition in which a child usually is small infant under the age of one.
00:03:36
Is shaken severely to the point of number one unconsciousness and number two to the point where sometimes there could be bleeding in the brain.
00:03:47
And in my case, it happened when I was four months old, and I was shaken to the point of unconsciousness and there was a lot of internal bleeding and in which, you know, they had performed surgery.
00:03:59
It was, you know, open brain surgery to the point where the doctors weren't so sure that I was going to survive.
00:04:07
And, you know, I'm obviously I'm here, I'm functional and it was, hey, they kind of told my family, it was like, hey, if Mendy is going to make it out of this, she may not be fully functional.
00:04:18
She may need help walking, talking and or, you know, she may not even make it out of this, the surgery alive.
00:04:26
And so I'm extremely thankful to be here today.
00:04:29
And I would say that I struggled a lot.
00:04:33
I struggled a lot through my life, but I've also persevered.
00:04:37
I've adapted and I would say I'm pretty successful now.
00:04:42
I could imagine when that happens.
00:04:44
I don't know.
00:04:45
There could be a lot of different scenarios.
00:04:46
It could be with a babysitter.
00:04:48
It could be with a family member.
00:04:49
But that happening.
00:04:51
How were you able to get to the hospital in time?
00:04:55
Like, was there somebody around or someone who happened to intervene?
00:04:58
I don't know.
00:04:59
And of course, I was an infant.
00:05:01
I was four months old, so I barely knew what was going on with myself.
00:05:05
But I mean, in my case, it was a caretaker.
00:05:08
It was a babysitter who my mom and my dad and my brother, they were all out and, you know, of course, caretaker.
00:05:15
And it just, I don't know, I was in the right time at the right moment.
00:05:19
And I don't know if it was she like, she's like, oh, crap, you know, I don't know.
00:05:24
I messed up or, you know, I've caught 911 now or, you know, it's so happened that someone walked in and was like, hey, what's going on?
00:05:31
What are you doing?
00:05:32
And they got me in the hospital.
00:05:34
Well, either way, they got me to the hospital in time.
00:05:37
And it just so happened that the brain surgeon was on call that night and they were able to get me into surgery right away.
00:05:44
And here I am.
00:05:47
Yeah, I could imagine you don't really have too much time.
00:05:50
Once that happens, as far as that happening and you getting to a hospital and being able to get the care and treatment you need to.
00:05:57
And what happened to the babysitter, the caretaker, was there any...
00:06:02
So that's where it gets kind of complicated because she wasn't like a U.S. citizen or anything like that.
00:06:09
She was more of like a family friend.
00:06:11
So I'm actually not too sure what happened to her.
00:06:14
I mean, obviously, like she wasn't going to get off scot-free because she was harming a child.
00:06:18
But I don't think she was put in jail or anything.
00:06:22
We couldn't even sue her because of the legal issues with citizenship and things like that.
00:06:29
But yeah, I honestly don't even know.
00:06:33
Oh, well, it was like she had immunity because of that.
00:06:36
Yeah, I mean, like I said, I'm sure she didn't get off scot-free.
00:06:39
But it was also harder to do things because she wasn't like she wasn't a U.S. citizen. She didn't have like a green card or anything like that.
00:06:48
Now, I know, of course, you were young.
00:06:50
But after that, I'm sure it was years of you dealing with...
00:06:56
Can you say that again?
00:06:57
Can you repeat what it was that as far as the symptoms or what you're dealing with because of that to this day?
00:07:03
Yeah, yeah.
00:07:04
So I obviously, I'm a fully functional adult.
00:07:06
I can do most things that normal people can do.
00:07:10
But with the brain surgery, because it affected the left side of my brain, the right side of my body,
00:07:18
a lot of the motor nerves and the motor function in my legs and my arm have been diminished.
00:07:24
So in this case, I am predominantly left-handed and left-sided.
00:07:30
And I don't really use my right arm as much as my left.
00:07:35
And I can still do things, but I can't, for example, pick up a mug or carry a really heavy box with both hands.
00:07:42
And the balance, I have a lot of trouble balancing as well.
00:07:47
Like ice skating, for example, I will, I won't ever be able to ice skate or walk on a balance beam or anything like that.
00:07:53
But with my leg, it's a little different because I have to use both legs to walk.
00:07:58
So I used to have a really bad limp when I was younger.
00:08:01
But now it's gotten better just because I have to walk everywhere.
00:08:05
But with the right side of my body, I'm semi-paralyzed.
00:08:09
So driving also, do you have a problem driving?
00:08:12
Driving is a huge issue.
00:08:14
So that's not really something that I foresee myself doing.
00:08:18
And I have, I fortunately have people in my life who are willing to drive me places and can give me rides.
00:08:24
But we've been looking into modifications for cars and that, and it's possible.
00:08:29
And I'd say it's worth it, but right now it's just not at the top of my agenda.
00:08:33
And it's also affected my eyesight too.
00:08:35
Like my right eye is actually weaker than my left.
00:08:38
And I don't know if it's, I mean, I obviously wear glasses, but I don't know if because of my injury and the extent to my injury that my eyesight would have been better or worse from, you know, if this hadn't happened to me.
00:08:52
But that's something we'll never know.
00:08:54
Yeah, that was a couple of other things that I came across when I was looking it up. I'd seen that impaired vision and I could be permanently.
00:09:01
And then also it was seizures.
00:09:04
Yeah. Yeah. So, so fortunately I haven't had seizures.
00:09:09
I know that when I was younger, like right out of surgery and things like that, like the few months leading up to after, like, you know, recovering after surgery and everything, I did have seizures.
00:09:20
But as an adult, I don't get them anymore. And I'm, I'm half happy for that.
00:09:26
From when that happened, your childhood through adolescence, was there a lot of therapy or anything to help you as far as a recovery?
00:09:34
Yeah. So we did everything. Honestly, my mom took me to acupuncture. We did occupational therapy, physical therapy.
00:09:42
They gave me exercises to, you know, start using my right hand again, just so I can get used to, like, it wouldn't be as strong as my left, my left hand.
00:09:51
But they would give me like gripping exercises and things that would allow me to start using it again so it wouldn't come die completely.
00:09:59
And now, you know, I go to the gym every week and I usually do cardio, but I'm starting to add like a weightlifting regimen into it just so I can like start off small.
00:10:08
And I don't want to lose like all of the motor nerves in my other hand. So it just, it comes with motivation.
00:10:15
That's right.
00:10:16
There are a lot of times where I run out of it. And I, because I went through, when I got older, I think I went through a really hard time.
00:10:26
This was pre COVID, but I think I, I struggled a lot with depression and anxiety because of it.
00:10:32
And it can mess with, you know, your confidence and thinking that you're not as good as other people.
00:10:38
But I think the fact that I was able to get up and somehow survive it, I'm, I would say I'm fairly successful now.
00:10:48
I mean, I have a full time job and then a relationship, like, you know, these things are, they're good.
00:10:54
That's right. And then even the fact willing to go to the gym, I mean, how many able bodies don't even want to go to the gym.
00:11:01
Right. Yeah.
00:11:02
I mean, it's stuck every wrong. There are some times where I really just don't want to go, but.
00:11:07
Right. Right. Yeah.
00:11:08
But I mean, as far as for you and what you're doing is recovering or just trying to maintain the motor skills and not just completely let everything go to waste and go limp.
00:11:18
Because there's so many reasons that we can admit, we can make an excuse for anything.
00:11:22
And you had a, you know, not to use it as a cop out or a crutch, but you had every reason to say, you know what, I'm not going to do this.
00:11:30
This isn't for me. I can't do this.
00:11:32
And yeah, absolutely.
00:11:35
And I think when I was younger, I would use it as a cop out and a crutch like in gym class, gym classes, we would play volleyball.
00:11:44
We would play like two handed sports or like balancing sport.
00:11:47
Like a lot of balances and physical therapy or not physical therapy physical exercise and like being able to use both of your hands and a lot of the time I would look at my gym teacher and say,
00:11:59
Hey, like just letting you know, you know, I can't do this.
00:12:04
And, you know, it would be kind of like, Hey, like I'm just trying not to do it because, you know, I think I can't.
00:12:11
And when I was younger, I had like really low self confidence.
00:12:14
And I think I still struggle with that a little bit today.
00:12:17
It's definitely gotten better.
00:12:18
But I used to struggle a lot with my confidence in myself and my ability to do things.
00:12:23
But were there were there any, anything that helped you along the way is with when you said there was a change in motivation in the beginning, it was it was one way.
00:12:33
And now you're kind of a bit more motivated to want to do something.
00:12:36
Go to the gym, do some cardio, that type of thing.
00:12:39
Yeah.
00:12:40
So I think the physical part of it isn't one thing, but like the mental part of it is is the is another because, you know, the shaken baby syndrome.
00:12:50
It not only affected the physical side of things, like, but it also affected the mental like his, you know, brain surgery and, you know, I process things slow.
00:13:00
And I wouldn't say a lot slower, but I process things slower than, you know, a normal person would like it takes me a few tries to get something or like, like a math problem or like understanding something as as faster if somebody's talking really,
00:13:16
really quickly, like I have to like, you know, think about what they're saying and like break things down or like jot things down.
00:13:23
And I think I would say that the people in my life, like not only my family and my loved ones, but like the mentors that I've had along the way have really helped like for example, I recently after the pandemic, and this is how I actually got my current job,
00:13:40
because I think finding a job for me was also something of a struggle. But I had a really good mentor, and she was able to believe in me and tell me that she believed in me.
00:13:53
And, you know, because I'm on I used to be on disability insurance, and it would be kind of like a crutch for me to you know, they would get me benefits and things like that.
00:14:04
And, you know, she was able to have that conversation with me and say, hey, you know, we know that you're comfortable with this, we know that you like having it but having a full time job and being self sufficient and being able to be feel important.
00:14:19
It's, it's a it's a good feeling and think about it. So I was able to kick that. And now I'm confident and having the right people in your life to not gently push you towards the right direction, not like, you know, three of off a cliff or whatever but like just like
00:14:38
slowly nudge you and be like, hey, you know, this could be something that's worthwhile. So definitely having a right people in your life.
00:14:45
It's a big key factor, especially if, yeah, if you're if you're trying to do this on your own, I mean, it's possible but it's so much more easier when you have people behind you that are supporting you and pushing you in the right direction.
00:14:58
I find that positive encouragement, like having surrounding yourself with people that you know, hey, we love you, hey, we see you struggling but hey, we know that you can do this.
00:15:08
And we've seen you do it. And I think a part of me like didn't really understand that. And I do now. So.
00:15:16
Yes, sometimes you need to you need to hear that outside voice telling you maybe what you believe in but it but it's so quiet in you that you can't really hear it. And when you hear someone else say it, it's like an affirmation.
00:15:30
Yeah, you know what, I can do this. I can do this.
00:15:34
And then I ended up. Do it. That's that's how you build momentum and after that you just keep the ball rolling in.
00:15:44
Yeah, that's a beautiful thing to have. Now did you find these mentors? Did you go out and reach out to people?
00:15:50
Not exactly. Like the one that I was mentioning, I actually did a trading program. I saw a little backstory. I work in the banking industry. So I work for a big bank here in Pittsburgh.
00:16:03
And I did a trading program in which they taught you all like the basis of banking and all of that. So so she was actually my instructor for that trading program.
00:16:13
And so I didn't actually reach out to anybody specifically. They just they just show up. That's what's really cool about the people that you meet sometimes like sometimes you know you're not looking for them and they just they happen to be there and you know you find the right people at the right time.
00:16:29
Yeah, that is something that there's so many excuses and there's so many reasons for us to not want to do something or pursue something or even just better our situation.
00:16:39
And something like that, which is unfortunate because it had nothing to do with you. It was out of your control. So I mean, what's done is done in a way but after the fact when everything is said and done in the smoke settles and what now was in your control is what you're taking advantage of and making use of and that's all.
00:16:58
Yeah, absolutely.
00:17:00
Motivational thing and that's something to be proud of and something to look at yourself like I I came a long way.
00:17:07
Absolutely. I mean, I came from, you know, struggling to, you know, understand and like, you know, from the doctor literally telling my parents, hey, your daughter is, you know, very well maybe not going to survive this and if she is she's not going to be able to do anything on her own and
00:17:27
Wow.
00:17:29
Yeah, and then also you have a mother hearing this from a doctor and this is one of her children, of course, you know, that's got it.
00:17:37
Like you said, not just the physical but there's a lot of mental trauma that goes with it brain trauma, of course, I mean, you're shaking and rattling an infant.
00:17:46
Yeah, I mean, my mom had to go through a lot of her own struggles with that too because, you know, she's like she is like, oh, you know, mom and dad, we put you in that situation like we were the one who entrusted you to somebody, you know, and so with my with my brother now having a kid, and it's like, you know, everyone around me, like
00:18:09
like whether it's like a friend with the child or like my brother like they're like so like aware of it now that it's like they are now trying to be extra careful and like, and picking someone and trying to you know, have someone take care of their child because
00:18:27
it's not really like it's not really something that you think about happening until it actually happens and you're like, oh crap, like, I'm really sad that this happened to Mindy and I'm really happy that she's doing really well now but like Holy Moly we got to really think about what we do.
00:18:42
Yeah, I mean, and that's what I kind of want to do too is just bring awareness to it so you know this doesn't happen to kids because I see on the news and like a lot where it's like oh yeah you know like person and like this baby and someone's care got like you know abused or shaken or like
00:18:59
whatever and like they you know a lot of babies they don't make it and it just it could have been avoided.
00:19:05
I've even heard stories of mothers or even fathers just out of frustration and not really thinking of what it's just like the spur of a moment kind of thing and then all it takes is a few seconds and then all of a sudden it takes is a few seconds and you know you're in trouble.
00:19:24
Yeah. And as far as you dealing with now you had your physical disabilities but as far as like say your mental your mind state that you said you were dealing with depression were there things that changed in your life or just a beliefs or anything that help you kind of get past that and push past it into to be where you're at right now.
00:19:48
I keep on going back to my family and friends because they really really were like what what helped me because the support is important.
00:19:58
And there were like moments where I like spur of the most where I'm like motivated and energized and like hey I can do this like I can do this I can do this but like.
00:20:08
Without the people that I have in my life literally behind me and being like hey like we know that's hard we know that you're struggling but we know that you can do this and.
00:20:19
And I keep going back to it because I wholeheartedly believe that it's true having the right people in your life and I eventually want to be that person to a lot of people because I.
00:20:30
I know that you know it's not as something as common shaking baby syndrome is not definitely not as common as a lot of the other diseases or syndromes out there but I want to be not like a spokesperson but.
00:20:42
I want to be that person for a lot of people who don't have that because I didn't have that person.
00:20:49
To be like hey I know what you're going through and you know so if anybody out there is struggling with you know shaking baby syndrome or something similar you know don't hesitate to reach out.
00:21:01
I wonder if it is something that happens more often than then we realize but there's just not a lot of attention put on it.
00:21:10
Yeah I wonder about that too and I think to an extent you're right I think it happens a lot more than you know they covered on the news and then it gets like maybe five minutes of fame and then it's gone.
00:21:23
Yeah that is something that's important like you said to have some kind of support behind you and then I could imagine there's a lot of people that are not as fortunate.
00:21:32
You know and they have to try to it's either find outside sources or try to find the find the tools and the resources within to do it on their own but it's a whole lot better when you do have some family or loved ones around you that can pick you up when you need to be picked up and kind of motivate you when it's not there and yeah that's very important.
00:21:56
And it's also refreshing to hear and encouraging to hear that you're looking to be that support system for maybe people that aren't having that behind them.
00:22:07
Is there any ways that you or anything you have in mind to be able to have that I guess to set up something where you can contact or be in contact with people that need support that have been through this or going through it?
00:22:19
Yeah so I am in the beginning of stages of making and building a nonprofit. It's called Unbreakable Unshakeable and we actually have a website out right now with contact information where you can just say that again.
00:22:34
Unbreakable Unshakeable Unshakeable.
00:22:37
Oh I like that that's Unbreakable Unshakeable.
00:22:41
Yeah and we have a website out right now and there's a contact and there's so it has my story and what I've gone through and then a little bit about like what I want to accomplish one day and then we have a forum for people who can you know talk and make conversation and we're starting a
00:23:00
blog soon as well and which you know frequently asked questions or people who just want to chat.
00:23:06
Oh that's awesome.
00:23:08
And then we have a contact page so they all they have to do is put their name and their email and then it comes straight to me and I'll reach out to them.
00:23:15
And you said you just put it on or it's in the works right now.
00:23:19
Well actually it's been out for a month or so now but yeah I would recommend people check it out.
00:23:27
Share that link with me and I'll put it in the description so anybody that comes across this and they want to look to see if they can find themselves resources or just get in touch with you that'd be nice to have.
00:23:37
Yeah absolutely I will send you the link.
00:23:39
You said unshakable unbreakable.
00:23:42
Or unbreakable unshakable sorry.
00:23:44
Unbreakable unshakable.
00:23:47
Is it just you behind this or you have a few people that you know that are that are in similar situation or that have gone through the same thing.
00:23:54
No I mean I have family members and friends who are helping me get it started now but you know we're looking we're also looking for board members as well so if anybody's out there is interested in helping us and supporting us.
00:24:10
And also like is this going to be me say meet groups around in person where you're at or is this more of an online thing.
00:24:17
Yeah so I mean of course you know if people who are within the area want to meet up absolutely that's something that we can think about and talk about.
00:24:27
But for right now it's usually mostly just virtual.
00:24:30
Okay yeah that's also good to have.
00:24:33
Yeah how about any any kind of advice or some kind of words that you can give them maybe somebody who has been through what you've been through family members someone who is in your position where they're dealing with the after effects of having gone through this and I'm you know just
00:24:52
anything you can offer to someone who would be in similar shoes.
00:24:56
I mean I would say look I know that it's hard right now and I know that you're struggling.
00:25:04
Be sure to check back with us for the second half of the conversation.
00:25:09
And if you find any value in this or it resonates with you.
00:25:14
Share it with a friend family member neighbor.
00:25:19
And you can always reach out to me if you want to connect till next time and very soon peace.
00:25:49
.